The Triad Chronicles: Then The Morning Comes
by Triad of the Force
Summary: The Triad is at last together, yet even as they grow in the Force, Darkness begins to stir among them. Sequel to My Dreams Could Be Tomorrow. Completed. AU. Non-Slash.
1. Prologue: Incipius

**Title: **The Triad Chronicles Book II: Then The Morning Comes  
**Author(s): **Layren and Neon Star  
**Characters: **Qui-Gon, Dooku, OC's  
**Summary:** The Jedi Order is one steeped in tradition. Traditions must change if they are to survive. Can the Order make the necessary changes with enough warning, or will destiny destroy them forever?  
**Timeframe: **Four years after My Dreams Could Be Tomorow  
**Genre: **AU  
**Authors' Note:** We're off to start Book II in the Saga. We're keeping everything here in one thread so as to not clutter the boards with our stories So that explains our title change. We hope it doesn't throw anyone off too much in trying to find us We also have a separate side series that we're going to start posting soon, a Drex/Zephir series, prelude to this series It should be up pretty soon And now, on with the post! Incipius is Latin for "Let it Begin." Thanks to DarthIshtar for the translation.

**  
Prologue: Incipius **

_"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up." Henry Louis Mencken_

* * *

Gray landscape, something different from the darkness, or Shane's dreams. There was no fire, no ash, no sounds of screams. No old memories peeking up from the dust, either his own of both good times, and nightmarish events, or someone else's of the same.

Nothing, but gray, and pure silence. He wasn't sure if it was good or not. It didn't feel bad, or wrong to his understanding. It wasn't his peaceful blackness, when he was too tired to dream, though, and so, he was leery of it.

He wasn't tired enough to gain that peace, and he doubted he would be spared a night if he wasn't. It was his fate to suffer; he had long accepted that for his failings. So what...

Hands seemed to slip across his shoulders, holding him lightly, just tight enough to keep him from turning around. A chest pressed to the back of his wings, as those hands moved, arms coming around to hold him from behind, keeping him from being able to move his own.

Vague panic filled him. This was too real. Unlike his visions, his dreams, his nightmares, where he could always at least separate reality from the night delusions. He was always numb during those... Untouchable in sense, even as his soul bled.

But here... he could feel the warmth of those arms around him, could feel the heat of that body against him. His own body was tensing, was reacting, as if wanting to attack, and completely unable.

The other's breath was hot in his ear, as a rustling sound filled the air, before the gray was blacked out with a night brought on by raven wings. Beautiful, jet black wings, that shone with the darkness. Everything about this other...was so forbiddingly dark, yet not threatening.

It was the darkness of home, the heartbeat of Saren that echoed in his blood, that protected him still, even as he had embraced the light. His vague struggles were easing without a thought, knowing the sense of home, and reacting to it on instinct.

A deep purr vibrated through him, from the other, causing him to almost relax in that gentle but powerful embrace. That only brought more pleasure from the other, who's hold tightened a bit more as the vibrations thrummed through him.

His own kind... This was his own kind. The wings, the purr, those proved it better then anything else might have. A soft sigh escaped him, and he leaned back, surrendering for the moment, knowing it useless to fight, and waste his energy,

A faint chuckle brushed over his ear, deep, powerful. So oddly familiar, yet just as alien to him. He knew this voice, and yet...

_You're so much like her, in spirit. I had never thought to see that fire again._

He started a little, wondering at how the other could speak to him from the inside, rather then out. Much like how it was with the bond... _Who are you?_

_I am everything you are destined to become. I am your shadow and you are the reality. But for now, call me La'tranar._

_La'tranar?_ The name was familiar, as if he should have known it, but could not remember it in the whispers of his mind.

_It sounds so sweet from you, as it had from her. _

That was the second time he had mentioned another, but had left little clues as to who she was..._ Her?_

_She who you owe your life to, and who I owe my life to. I will tell you of her, someday. For now, do you know why you are here?_

_No..._ he truly didn't. He didn't know where this was, though he felt it was inside himself, or how this other had come to join him there.  
_  
The visions bother you, don't they? You can't control them, no matter how much they try to help you._

He was reluctant to admit it, but the other seemed to pick up his thoughts. They tried so hard, his future Master, his bondmates, Master Yoda, Master Zephir. They all tried, but there was little that could be done... Even Yoda had stated that he would need more time, and they would have to wait till that power stopped expanding.  
_  
So I thought. They can't understand. You're ability is too strong for the Jedi or the Sith. I know. I can help you._

_Help me?_

_Yes. It's only right. Only I can do so. Only I can understand...  
_  
Shane felt his guards relaxing against his will, that seductive voice trailing through him. He tried to drag his defenses up, only to find they wouldn't rise. Just like how he had long since given up in body. This other had full control over him from the beginning, and it frightened him to finally realize that. Yet, it wasn't himself he feared for; it was what this other could do to his bondmates...  
_  
Hush. Just rest. I'll teach you slowly. You'll wake with a better understanding. And every night I come to you, the more knowledge you'll gain. You will control them, not them you, as is right._

_How can I trust you, when I don't even know who you are? You could hurt them..._ He had to question it, had to voice that crushing fear. He would not let him hurt them, he would not...

Lips touched his hair,_ You will find that you already trust me, more then you know. You trust me more then anyone, dearest child. Only I can protect you, only I can hold you, and make you feel safe in my wings. I am the sunset to the night you'll help bring. But do not fear, you alone are my business, I won't touch them...  
_  
Those words seemed to drain his energy to the barest depths, leaving him slack and boneless in the other's steadying grip. His head felt heavy, his eyelids even more so, long before one hand detached to cover over his eyes.  
_  
That's my dearest. Close your eyes, sleep, gain your strength. Tonight, I make my first move, and you will allow it. Because we are one, were from the moment the Force broke you, and put you in this shell. You are mine, my beloved child._

Completely lax, Shane didn't hear the last of his words, mind already sinking into the abyss of rest, lost before the second kiss was laid upon his neck.

Theron smiled ever so slightly, gathering the slumbering child's dream form into his arms, cradling his bounty close as he started to concentrate on taming his descendant's vastly wild mind.  
_  
Your turn, Merrick. Move wisely_

* * *

_  
So you've made your move.  
_  
Merrick could see it, in everything Callister was doing. He looked more at ease, as he sat there, watching his bondmates play, while their little girl companion chattered in his ear. The soft black that had been under his eyes was nearly gone, stating of how rested he was. His smiles were a little easier, his eyes a little less haunted. His soul a little less burdened and in pain.  
_  
Quite a challenge. Wouldn't you say, beloved?  
_  
He didn't expect an answer. For once, Zamir was sleeping, after finally being allowed to feed after nearly six months. Merrick knew he had been cruel in forcing such a thing on him, but he had known Theron was making his move, and he wanted to be there to see it.

And he had. He had watched that dark spirit slip in so silently while the boy was defenseless, and take possession of what had been the Sith Lord's from the start.

He wasn't worried though. They were just finally starting the game, after letting them have two years of peace. It was regretful, but there was nothing for it. Their destiny was too great not to be controlled.

Which meant he had to move, his piece was waiting to be claimed, but he had to be subtle. He knew Zamir had laid the very ground work, accidentally speaking with the boy once before. He hadn't missed the lack of a certain gem about his beloved's neck, nor it's reappearance around the little one's.

But it had been three years, and this time, it wouldn't be an accident.

It was now time.

A stiff wind blew, whipping his robes as Drex Rixar sat on his balcony. The air was pleasant for the autumn of the year and with a warm mug of tea in his hands, he thought about the future. Shane was ready to be his apprentice. He knew the boy was ready, but Kyran and Qui-Gon were probably not ready to be separated from their bondmate on a long term basis. He frowned a little as he considered. This was a problem he had not had to deal with when he had chosen Ren. He had had no one else to consider but the boy. Now he had to take into account the effect of losing their bondmate would have on Kyran and Qui-Gon. He wondered if Zephir thought Kyran was ready yet. If he were, then things would be even harder for the little one to lose both bondmates. He frowned into his mug as he considered trying to decide what to do.

Normally he would have discussed things with Zephir, but Zephir was away on an extended mission. Drex had no idea when he would return. It was very quiet without him – very lonely, but at least he still had the bond with Shane, that kept things from being unbearably silent.

He stared at his reflection in the brown depths of the mug. His face had aged noticeably and... was that gray he saw in his hair? He scowled a little at that. Though he knew the last several years had aged him... with losing Ren. -- his heart twanged painfully at the reminder -- finding Shane...and the triad.  
_  
I think you're still very young looking, Raven,_ The voice purred as it poured into his mind, while ghostly arms settled about his shoulders, a slender chest pressing to the chair as a face nuzzled his hair.

"I'm only thirty," he complained even as Zamir nuzzled him. "I'm not supposed to be going gray yet."

_Stress does that, dearest,_ the voice cooed, and the slight feel of teeth nipping at his neck came, playful, _Don't dwell on it._

Drex snorted a little, and then he frowned at the nip to his neck. Zamir felt a little different to him. "You feel different. Are you all right?"

_Of course. What do you mean? _curious, but untroubled, Zamir's lips marked where he had nipped.

"You feel...older. Somehow, like you're not yourself." He thought of what Zamir had said to him -- that Merrick had awakened, but surely this was not Merrick.

A little laugh, _Older? My dearest Raven, I am old._

"I know you are but.." he struggled to try and say what he wanted to but he didn't know how to say it. "You still feel off."

_Perhaps because it's been a while. _

"No it's not that. I think you feel like someone I'm familiar with and not at the same time," his brow furrowed.

_How odd. Perhaps Merrick's influence of late,_ a soft sigh whispered past his ear.

"Perhaps," he said uneasily. Something still wasn't right. He frowned a little. "You said you have all of Merrick's thoughts and memories and that Merrick had awakened..." he went quiet for a few minutes. He bit his lip uncertainly wondering how to phrase the question without being offensive. With Zamir feeling odd to him -- maybe... maybe this really wasn't Zamir...

He pondered a little. He looked like him. Some part of him felt like him -- but not the entirety. How could that be?

Petal soft lips touched his cheek, _So I did. That does affect my nature somewhat. You didn't know me before I lost him... That's probably why. I'm complete now, after all. _

"Stop playing games, Zamir. What's going on?" He knew something was up and Zamir was beating around the bush not telling him. He knew there was more to it than the other was letting on. He didn't like being toyed with.

_I did actually come here for a reason. Merrick did send me... He merely wished to suggest a way to help your dilemma._

"Or could it possibly be that you are Merrick, merely using Zamir for your purposes to gain my trust?" Drex had stood by this time, and pulled away. It had almost worked too. He had almost believed him.

Zamir frowned a little, "Why would you say that, Drex? What need would he have to do something like that when he could just ask me to do anything he pleased?"

"I don't know. But I don't' trust you right now in that form -- your eyes aren't Zamir's. Oh they look like it enough -- but I can tell by looking into them, Merrick."

Instead of continuing, the facade dropped, blue swirling into those brilliant green eyes, dimming them, "I am impressed," the voice was deeper.

Drex smiled tightly. "Glad you approve."

"Indeed. Forgive me for underestimating you. I had thought you would be more comfortable receiving the advice from a friend."

"I would feel more comfortable without false appearances," he retorted. "I've seen enough in my time not to trust anyone. Zamir has gained my trust. You however, have not."

"Forgive me then. I would have sent him in truth, but he's just fed, and is very tired. Besides, I felt it best to relay this myself, rather then leave it to his hands," Merrick stated.

"Really?" Despite his earlier mistrust, Drex was intrigued.

Merrick nodded a little, "You worry for how to separate them, since it is coming to the time when they will be ready to be apprentices."

Drex glanced out at the stars that were beginning to appear. "Yes."

"What I suggest, is to take it slow. Prepare them for being apart. Their bond will grow strong enough that it won't bother them to be so," Merrick stated.

"You suggest separating them slowly?" He considered this. "But I was planning on asking Shane to be my padawan now."

"Now is not the time. They're not ready for it. For now, taking him once or twice every week will help. Slowly you'll increase the amount of time, going from one to two, to three, to four, and so on, till you don't bring him back."

"They're not ready? But Shane is more than ready and Kyran is nearly there," he protested.

"It would do them harm to be separated without preparation," Merrick pointed out.

"Would it?" He frowned a little. "But they're always together in their bond. They would realize they weren't far away from each other wouldn't they?'

"Not without preparation to allow their bond to grow that strong, Right now, they need to be physically close, to feel complete, to feel safe. They've never been fully separated, since they were brought together."

Drex considered. "That is true," he admitted. He had not thought about that fact.

"It would only take a year or so, to prepare them. It will make them stronger."

"So you think it is in their best interests that I wait until they are more prepared," it made sense, and really it was a good solution to the problem he had been considering. He knew that Shane would not like being separated from them so abruptly.

Merrick nodded a little, "I know it is for the best."

Drex was quiet for a long moment before he finally said, "It would solve the problem," he admitted reluctantly.

Another little tilt of the head, "I knew you would see the wisdom in it."

"Did you? What made you so sure?" Drex's brow furrowed.

"I suppose Zamir never told you that I was a Seer," that was his answer to him.

Surprise crossed Drex's face at that. "No, he did not."

A slighter smile, "Then he probably also didn't mention that I was a Jedi before my death. That I watched this Temple rise from its very first stones," he gestured out, "All that, I remember as fields, meadows as far as the eye could see, the capital just beginning around us."

"This? Fields?" Drex had a hard time imagining the endless cityscape ever being grassy. It was almost unfathomable.

A little nod, a sad smile, "Yes. So many years ago, things had been so different..." he forced himself to focus, looking to Drex again, "Yet, this is where it began, and where it will end."

"Where what will end? The Order?" He asked frowning.

"If the Force wills it. That is why it sent them to us," the tilt of his head was Zamir's movement, more comfortable to him then what would have been his own.

"I know," Drex replied softly. "I only hope it is not so."

"As do I. That is why I am here. Why Zamir is," he pressed a hand to his heart, "To guide the future."

Drex nodded. "I know. He has told me."

"Good. Then what shall you do with the advice I've given?" Merrick asked.

Drex considered. "I will go to the Council," he said at last. "I will talk to them about this. It is a good suggestion."

Merrick nodded a little, "I am glad for that."

"I was concerned about the idea of just coldly ripping them away," Drex admitted.;

"As you should be," Merrick admitted, "You may suit as a Master for one of them."

Drex's eyes narrowed darkly at that. "May?"

"Do you believe yourself worthy of the burden?"

"I believe I am a fit Master for Shane," he said, his eyes narrowing.

"Then pray you live up to that claim."

* * *

The sun was going down as the Council finished their business. Mission reports had been received and handed out to Jedi teams and solo knights when appropriate. Discussion had been good that day, Sehan noted. It had been very productive.

"Is there any further business before we conclude for the evening?"

"Yes," a new voice spoke up. "I have something, my Masters."

The newcomer strode to the center of the chamber and faced the Council of twelve Masters.

"Master Rixar," Master Yoda sounded pleased to see him. "Something to say have you?"

"Yes," He inclined his head in thanks that the master gave him the floor. He took a steadying breath, to calm his nerves. "I request that I be allowed to begin preparing Shane Callister to becoming my apprentice."

Whispers broke out among the Councilors, and the Senior Councilor allowed them to run through before he waved his hand for silence. "Initiate Callister is only eight standard years old, when do you intend to ask him?" Sehan asked, his voice slightly cold.

"I intended to ask him at the end of this year," Drex replied meeting the Councilor's gaze. "But since the bond between him and Kyran and Qui-Gon is so strong, it would be best if we started grooming them towards separation rather than taking them away so abruptly. It might ease the transition and allow them to train themselves to block each other out."

"Separation for them you suggest hrm?" Master Yoda's ears twitched slightly.

"I agree," Councilor Rhy'ul, two places down from Yoda, spoke up. "If we were to allow them to be taken as padawans without any preparation, things could deteriorate when Kyran and Shane are first assigned missions. Especially if something were to go wrong on a mission."

Sumi Gisk'yla shifted position, his fur rippling slightly. "I'm inclined to agree with Master Rixar's suggestion. I also suggest that Master Zephir work with Initiate Josel while Master Rixar works with Initiate Callister."

"But what about Initiate Jinn?" Quix Zarckot asked. "If he remains alone in the crèche, he could feel some resentment and abandonment towards being left behind," he pointed out.

"I don't think so," Rhyysa Shinte objected. "Their bond is such that I do believe they will be able to tolerate the separation. They are always together inside the bond and it is physically impossible to separate them from it. In that regard, they should be able to rely on it when they are separated to avoid the feelings of abandonment and resentment. I think they would realize their bondmate was not far away, especially if they are prepared in advance."

"Possibly," Master Zarckot conceded. "Their bond is unlike in any other in that regard."

"Their bond is unlike any other in _all_ regards," Rhy'ul pointed out. "It is essential that we understand it and their needs."

"Agree with you I do," Master Yoda spoke up then. "Necessary understanding is to make changes they need. Do what is best for them we will."

"I suggest that Initiate Josel and Callister trade different days to work with their prospective Masters," Yaddle suggested.

"A good suggestion," Sehan agreed, his eyes narrowing slightly. "When Josel works with Ke'dran, Callister will stay behind with Jinn. When Callister works with Rixar, Josel will be with Jinn."

"But what about their other crèche classes and assignments? Until they are fully ready to be Padawans, they still will have to keep up with their lessons," Tyrral Cormin spoke up.

"If we do it on a two day a week schedule, it should be doable," the Quemerian Jedi Master spoke up. "That way it won't detract from their studies or tire them out too much."

"I suggest beginning at two days a week as Master Doneta suggests, and then increasing the time when they become closer to being ready," Cond Siln chimed in.

"I agree," Master Yoda said thoughtfully from his chair.

"I suggest we put things to a formal vote and then add this information to their files," Master Zarckot suggested.

"Aye."

"Aye."

"Aye."

"It's settled then. The agreement is unanimous. Separated they will be. Information we will add and inform their proper teachers, we will. Talk to them you should," the small Master directed his gaze back to Rixar, who was still standing in the center of the chamber.

Drex bowed respectfully. "Thank you for your time, my Masters. I have nothing further to add."

"Dismissed you are then, begin making proper arrangements you should," Yoda directed.

Drex bowed again before he turned and left the chambers. Things could not have gone better in his opinion. Now all he had to do was inform Shane that he would be working with him a few days a week. He only hoped he had made a wise decision in accepting Merrick's advice.


	2. Chapter One: The Darkening of the Son

Sora'sa language lesson

"Len ke'mane' I love you

Mahte' Mother

**Chapter One: The Darkening of the Son  
**  
_  
"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." Helen Keller_

* * *

Kyran yawned and stretched as he awoke. It was early morning and he was in Zephir's bed, where he had fallen asleep the night before. It was his first time to spend the night at the Master's apartment and he had needed comfort being away from his bondmates. The Master was already up and about, he realized after a moment. He heard noises in the kitchen and pulled on his sleep robe to go to see what Zephir was doing. He padded down the hall silently and came to find the Master beginning work on getting breakfast together. "What're you cooking?" he asked with great interest.

Zephir glanced down to him, and smiled as his hands worked, "Bantha biscuits and eggs. Just something easy for this morning," satisfied for the moment, he pulled away, to wipe his hands on a rag, before touching Kyran's hair tenderly, "Did you sleep well, ne'?"

Kyran nodded shyly. "Mostly. " It had taken him some time to fall asleep, the soft bed had been hard to get used to again after sleeping in the nest with Shane at nights.

A look of understand crossed Zephir's eyes, and his smile deepened, "That's good," he paused a moment, glancing at what he was preparing, "Would you like to help?"

Kyran's face brightened. "Can I?" he asked hopefully. "Never cooked anything before," he said worriedly. "Don't want to make it taste bad."

"I'll make sure of that," Zephir assured warmly, motioning over a small stool that he had dug up from somewhere, and brought it over to his side with the Force, "If you're truly worried, you can watch, and I'll teach you."

Kyran clambered up on the stool, anxious to be of help. "I want to cook with you. Just have to tell me how."

Zephir nodded, grinning a little at the boy's eagerness, "Very well then. Just have to warn you, don't touch anything that I don't tell you to. Much of this is hot."

Kyran gazed at him very seriously. "Not touch cause it's hot," he repeated. "What do all those things do?" he asked pointing to the knobs on the stove.

"They control how hot or cold things get," Zephir answered, pointing out which ones did which.

Kyran peered closely at them. "So what are you doing now?" he asked pointing to the bowl on the counter.

Glancing to the bowl, Zephir brought it over to the counter by the boy, "I just finished putting in the ingredients. This is for the biscuits. They need to be mixed. Would you like to do that?"

Kyran nodded. "I can mix it," he said happily. He promptly stuck his fingers in the bowl and began mixing, ignoring the spoon on the counter next to him.

Refraining from chuckling, Zephir calmly pulled Kyran's hand from the bowl, gently wiped his fingers, then placed the spoon in it, "With this, ne'."

"How come I can't just use my hands?" he asked frowning a little, " they work just as good," he pointed out. Mixing with the spoon was a lot harder than he thought. Batter spilled out of the bowl some. "Easier the other way," he protested.

Holding back his amusement, Zephir lightly wrapped a hand around his, to help him learn to stir, "But it's more efficient this way. You mix all of it, if you go slow."

"Efficient?" Kyran blinked a little at the word. "What does that mean?"

"Better," Zephir stated.

"So doing it this way works better?" he clarified for himself. "Doesn't seem to work better to me. Now what?" he asked after the batter was mixed.

We're going to put it into that," Zephir instructed, moving to pick up the pan, and bring it over to them, "Like so."

"Can I roll it out?" Kyran asked hopefully. He wanted to try rolling out the dough. Zephir had made it look fun.

Zephir nodded, though he aided him in that, and in cutting them, and eventually put them in the oven. After that the meat was done, so he set it aside to cool, as he did eggs.

"There, now we're almost ready," he smiled to the boy.

Just then the door chime rang . "I'll get it," he volunteered as he hopped off his stool to go get the door.

Zephir followed, getting a sense of who it was at the door. Stopping the boy right before he opened the door, Zephir looked down to him in amusement, "Let me open it. You see, there is someone very important on the other side, and we have to be very respectful, understand?"

Kyran sobered at the words and nodded solemnly. "Okay," he said softly, taking up his place behind the Master as Zephir opened the door.

Zephir bowed low once the door was open, presenting the two beyond, "My dearest lady, it is a surprise and honor that you have come."

Te'mahte' I'sa was on the other side of the door with her young son, Kieran, and she was trying her hardest not to smile. "Dear Zephir, one would think you were trying to discourage the boy from answering the door. Really I wouldn't have minded," she said in amusement. "One so seldom sees such innocence these days."

Zephir shook his head a little, "Far from it, my lady. I merely discourage disrespect to such as yourself. He is to be my Padawan after all," he spared a soft smile to the boy, "As to it, I dare say you probably have not met the ne'," he gestured Kyran forward, "Kyran, this is the Lady I'sa, Senator of Southern Saren, and her young son, Kieran."

Kyran bowed politely to the Senator. "Please to meet you."

Te'mahte' smiled at the child. "Likewise, little one. So you are Kyran. I have heard about you, from Shane," she bent down to his level.

"You have?" Kyran was surprised his bondmate talked about him to someone else. "What did he say?"

"He said you were very brave on Saren," she said, touching his cheek gently. "And that you were his godling."

"Yep," Kyran nodded at the last part. "That's what he calls me," he frowned. "Though he hasn't really said why he calls me one."

"He will soon enough," She stood back up and guided Kieran forward to where he could touch Kyran.

Kieran touched Kyran's shoulder, smiling a little, "It is a pleasure though," the fourteen year old stated, "Especially to me, to meet one of Me's friends."

Kyran looked quizzical. "Does he talk about me to you too?"

Kieran nodded, "He does, when we're able to see each other. He's very fond of his life here, and the people in his life."

Kyran was inexpressibly happy at those words. His face lit. He pulled Kieran further into their living room. "We're making breakfast," he said.

Careful not to stumble, Kieran smiled a bit more, "I can smell that, and it smells good."

Zephir had to comment at that, as he allowed I'sa in, taking her arm like a gentleman as he led her further into the apartment, "You are both welcomed to stay and break fast with us."

Te'mahte' allowed Zephir to escort her. "I do apologize for coming over unannounced," she said apologetically. "But we have only returned from our travels last night. We thought of catching you before you left for the day so that Kieran might spend some time with his friends."

"There is no need for an apology. You didn't interrupt anything. I assume you'll be off to see Shane soon." Zephir said lightly, keeping a watchful eye on the two boys.

"Yes," She agreed. "Though I would like it if young Kyran could come along too, he seems to be good for Kieran. He has a lot of energy."

Zephir chuckled a little, "He certainly does. I suppose it could be arranged, he was meant to go back some time today."

"What do you mean? What sort of arrangement have you made?" She asked settling herself on a chair at their table.

"Drex and I have agreed to slowly separating the boys, to get them ready for apprenticeship," Zephir tried to explain.

She looked surprised at that. "Really? Why would they need to be separated? Why can't you just train them now?'

"They have rather strong attachments, between themselves, and a third," Zephir stated, "It would be like separating the twin gods and hoping it wouldn't destroy the world."

She grimaced at that. "Impossible in other words," she nodded. "I can see why it would be best to separate them slowly."

Zephir nodded, "I thought you would understand. Its a good exercise for them anyways, Most Padawans are not taken till the age of ten."

"Yet you are already beginning to separate them? Why not wait another year?"

"It gives them, and ourselves a bit more time," Zephir admitted, "It takes a bit to adjust to another young life." Even though Zephir's own Padawan had been half trained before he had received her, the Council deeming him fit to train such a student, when they had not trusted him before that with a youngling. He had proven them wrong, with her, Illya being a prize in her field.

"You've never trained one this young have you?" she asked carefully watching him.

"No, but I believe I won't have too much trouble," Zephir assured.

"Master I think the biscuits are done," Kyran's voice interrupted their conversation, "they're getting brown on the top!"

Excusing himself, Zephir rose to go check, "I believe you are right," he commented to Kyran as he looked, and gathered a protective glove to pull the pan from the oven, "There we go, now we have to let it cool."

"Too hot to touch them now?" He asked, and Te'mahte' smiled watching the two of them interact.

Zephir nodded, "Much too hot. We wouldn't wish you to be burned."

Kyran nodded and then glanced at Kieran. "They're too hot to touch now," he said in disappointment.

Kieran looked vaguely amused, "It'll only take a few moments for them to cool, I'm sure."

Kyran sighed melodramatically. "I hope so, I'm hungry."

Kieran laughed, "You sound like the hungry type."

Kyran was a little confused at why he kept referring to things he could smell and hear rather than see. It was only then that he noticed his companion's eyes did not focus on him. He bit his lip suddenly having only just noticed.

As if sensing his look, Kieran tilted his head, "Is something wrong?"

Kyran shook his head, not wishing to offend his new companion. "Nothing's wrong," he chirped.

A slight smile touched Kieran's lips, "You noticed."

Kyran glanced at him feeling embarrassed that it had taken him so long. "Yeah."

Kieran shook his head a little, a warmer smile on his lips., "It's all right. You shouldn't sound so embarrassed. I don't mind really."

"But you can't see me," Kyran sounded rather sad at the idea. "I can see you. It's not fair that you can't."

"But I can see you," Kieran said simply, and reached out to him, touching his shoulder, "You're a bit short for your age, but built tough," his hand moved up his neck, skirting to his cheek, "You've got rounded features... perfect nose, smooth skin, a slight scar here," one finger traced the almost invisible scratch on Kyran's left cheek, "Your eyes are big, Me' has told me they're green, like some of the crystals we have at home..." his fingers moved again, whisper soft, "Long hair, shoulder length, very soft but thick, somewhat curly. Golden, like the sun." He finally moved his hand away, "So, I can see."

Kyran blinked a little quizzically at him. "You can tell all that by just touching and what Me' said?"

Kieran nodded, "I 'see' with touch, hearing, and smelling. It's a compensation for losing one sense. Took me a little while to hone it."

Kyran considered. That made perfect sense to him. "Oh," he said finally feeling a little better that he could have some way of seeing. "Okay then."

Noting that the end of that, Kieran smiled. Zephir gave a sigh of relief that it had gone that well. "Why don't you two sit down, and I'll bring the food."

Kyran eagerly did as he was told and sat down at the table. He gave Te'mahte' a very shy smile as he sat across from her and she was infinitely charmed by the small boy.

Kieran sat beside his mother, and a few moments later, Zephir brought the biscuits, meat, and eggs to the table.

Kyran happily piled his plate full of everything and then began to eat, trying to be mindful of his manners especially since they had company.

Zephir smiled approvingly towards his future apprentice, for his manners, before serving himself and allowing his guests in turn to do the same. Then they ate among various small chatter.

* * *

The dishes had been cleaned and put away and then it was time to take Kyran back to the crèche to where he could be with his bondmates again. He was holding Kieran's hand as he walked to help him and was giving the best description he could of the Temple and the various knights and Master's that were passing.

Kieran listened indulgently, seeming to stifle a few bursts of laughter as he listened intently.

Zephir was doing likewise, keeping a purely straight face as he watched the younglings, while, leading I'sa, having been speaking with her on and off quietly about the situation on Saren.

At last they arrived at the crèche's double doors and Kyran announced theatrically, "And here we are, home at last. Well behind the double doors anyway."

Kieran cracked a smile at that, "I've been here for, to get Me'."

Kyran laughed at himself. "I know," he said sheepishly. "I was just announcing it as the end of my description."

Kieran chuckled a little, "Well, we had best enter in then."

"Okay," he said brightly. He glanced at Master Zephir shyly. "When will you be back to get me again?'

Zephir lightly touched his shoulder, "In two days. Tomorrow is Shane's turn with Drex."

Kyran nodded and waved his goodbye. "Will see you then."

Zephir nodded, smiled again, and glanced to I'sa, "Will I be escorting the Lady back, so that we can discuss things further?"

Te'mahte' gave him a small smile. "But of course, Master Jedi, I should be disappointed if you did not."

The Jedi Master inclined his head, "Then I shall wait here till you are ready to return." He knew she would wish to see Shane before leaving Kieran with him for a while.

"Very well, I won't be long I only wanted to speak with Me'telnen for a few moments."

Zephir assured her with a smile, as she followed the younglings into the Crèche. Bustling, busy, it was hard to figure where the child they were searching for was, but Kyran seemed to know where to go instantly.

Kyran carefully led Kieran over to where Shane and Qui-Gon were busy playing. "Shane, Nihan, I'm back! And I brought company," he said beaming happily.

Shane looked up, eyes brightening as he took in Kieran, and I'sa behind him. Nodding over to them to get Qui-Gon's attention, he stood suddenly, reaching to warmly embrace Kieran, who brushed his lips against his right temple in greeting. A few soft, warm words, and then Shane released him to bow to the Lady.

Te'mahte' smiled warmly as he bowed to her and she grasped his shoulder as a mother would to look at her son. 'Gracious how you've grown, Me',' the words were soft. Indeed Shane had grown, more than she had expected in the last several years.

He looked more like the Lord she served every passing year. The eyes grew brighter, he was a little taller, even his soul felt similar to her.

He smiled brightly at her, more so then he had been able to, not long before, 'Thank you, I'sa,' he chirped, wings fluffing a bit in pride.

'You seem to be happier now,' she observed.

Shane nodded, though he couldn't tell her why. Ever since the beginning of his eighth year, he had been able to sleep more, and the burden in his heart felt less, as if he had been forgiven for it. In some ways, he supposed he had been, though he still didn't know how or why. Perhaps it was Qui-Gon's presence, or perhaps more.

'I don't suppose you'll tell me what your secret is,' she said in amusement.

Shane considered a moment. "I don't really know why... I'sa," he stated finally, then gently took her hand, "My Nihan helps though," he gestured to Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon heard his name in the conversation and beamed at Shane and got up from his colors to come over to them. "Did you call me Nissan?"

Shane gently touched his hair with his free hand, "In a way. Nihan, this is the Lady I'sa, and that," he nodded near her, "Is her son Kieran."

Qui-Gon looked up at the two of them with his big blue eyes. He smiled brightly, 'Hello.' he said in his Saren basic that Shane had been teaching him.

Another fluff of pride from Shane, as he looked to her, "This is my Nihan, Qui-Gon."

'So I see,' She replied back smiling down at them. She knelt in front of Qui-Gon. 'So Me' has been teaching you?'

Qui-Gon nodded understanding her. 'Yes ma'am', ' he said politely, clutching at Shane's legs.

'How old are you little one?' She asked smiling.

Qui-Gon held up two fingers. 'This many.'

'He's very bright, I'sa He understands Saren basic almost as well if not better than Basic,' Shane stated, caressing Qui-Gon's hair lovingly.

'So I see,' she said, her smile broadening. 'I'm sorry I could not come to see you sooner.'

'It's fine. I know you're busy,' Shane assured.

She nodded at that. 'I'll do my best to be here more often. Kieran will be spending today with you.'

Shane brightened even more at such thoughts, 'Thank you, I'sa.'

'I'll be back later this evening,' she kissed him gently on the top of his head.

Shane purred happily at that, while Kieran finally reached his shoulder, and smiled at where he heard his mother, 'Then we'll see you then.'

Te'mahte' embraced her son and stroked his wings gently. 'Len ke'mane', nai,'.

He returned her embrace, 'Len ke'mane', Mahte'.'

Te'mahte' patted him once on the shoulder and then turned to go. Her heart was slightly heavy as she thought of how much Me'telnen was like Theron now. She wondered if Ke'dran had any thoughts of how much Me'telnen had changed.

Watching her leave, a soft, troubled expression came to Shane's eyes briefly, before he turned back to his Nihan, and Kieran. Gently, he guided Kieran's hand to Qui-Gon's shoulder, "This is who I was telling you about, Kier."

Kieran smiled, "So I can tell. It's a pleasure."

"Pleased to meet too," Qui-Gon said glancing up at him. "You're taller than Nissan."

Kieran looked amused, "That's because I'm older, by six years."

"You're old then!" Qui-Gon was ecstatic and he reached to touch Kieran's wings to see how they felt compared to Shane's. "Soft.."

More amusement and Kieran raised an eyebrow to Shane, who helplessly shrugged, knowing Qui-Gon's fondness for his own wings.

Belatedly Qui-Gon remembered his manners and jerked away, his face reddening. "I'm sorry," he said, tears forming in his eyes. "Shouldn't touch. Didn't ask."

Kieran tilted his head a little at the tone, noting the boy sounded like he would cry. Reaching, with Shane's help, he touched Qui-Gon's cheek, "It's fine, ne' I don't mind at all."

Qui-Gon glanced at his boots. "Should ask first," he said in a small voice. Even if the other didn't mind, that didn't mean he should touch things without permission. He went back to join Kyran at the table, still feeling ashamed of his poor manners.

Sharing a look, Shane led Kieran over settling beside Qui-Gon as he settled Kieran beside himself. Gently, he wrapped his arms around his Nihan, and nuzzled against his cheek, "It's all right, nihan. Kieran likes being touched."

"You do?" he asked glancing Kieran for confirmation.

Kieran nodded, "Very much so. It helps me understand others."

Qui-Gon was curious. "How can that help?

"Let's just say…I can't see, little one. So I have to rely on touch and other senses," Kieran explained.

Qui-Gon glanced up then realizing the other wasn't looking at him, or at any of them. So that was it, he couldn't see. He didn't understand how that could be so, but he didn't question anything. He merely nodded a little.

After a moment he said, "I help make it better?" he offered touching his hand on Kieran's eyes gently.

Kieran kept perfectly still, feeling that timid touch near his eyes.

"Nihan," Shane was swift to intervene, ready to pull Qui-Gon away, when Kieran stalled him with a raised hand.

"It's all right. He can try," Kieran smiled softly, indulging.

Qui-Gon concentrated, drawing on the Force as he'd been taught. He felt the sweet power come to him warming him and then flowing to the others eyes. He could feel it, he pushed it, willing it to work.

After a few moments he pulled away and opened his eyes. "That better?" he asked anxiously.

Kieran blinked once, twice. It had been odd. He had actually felt something. Something warm, alive, and sparking in him, for just the briefest moment, but that left a content, peaceful feeling within, even after it was gone. He took a soft sigh, "I fear my eyes are not, little one, but that did help," he soothed softly.

Qui-Gon looked crestfallen that it hadn't worked as good as he had wanted. "Sorry didn't work right," he said sadly.

Soft fingers carefully touched his cheek, "It's perfectly all right, little one. I am very touched that you tried to help me, though. You seem like such a loving child."

A small blush came to his cheeks at that. He eyed Kieran's lap. "Can I sit with you?' he asked shyly.

Kieran gave a soft chuckle, and he couldn't help but wrap an arm around the little boy, "Perhaps you will. Though, regardless, you did make me feel better."

"I did?" he said hopefully. Maybe he had done at least a little good. He cooed a little, almost mimicking Shane in his noise, as Kieran wrapped his arm around him.

Kieran smiled warmly, his own purr coming to match the boy's, "Very much so. I feel a bit more.. peaceful."

Qui-Gon giggled slightly hearing Kieran purr. He always liked it when Shane did that and he smiled. At least he could help in some small fashion.

He glanced over at his bondmates beside him at their small table and he sighed happily. He was content and peaceful too.


	3. Chapter Two: The Wild Card

**  
Chapter Two: The Wild Card **

_  
The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance. Peter De Vries_

* * *

The door opened, silent. Ever so quietly, the figure entered. Looking around, gold eyes narrowing a little as he listened. A very thin smirk came to his lips as he moved forward, hearing exactly what he wanted to.

How could he miss it, the racket was enough to make him pity even the Ice Jedi. Or at least, almost pity. There was just some things he wouldn't do.

Finally, he arrived at the door. Waiting, listening, that wicked smirk grew, before he overrode the door release making it manual. Opening the door with clawed fingers, he slid in and closed it.

In the darkness he could see his prey, snug against a smaller frame. It took a double check to make sure that hair in the moonlight was raven, not silver. He didn't want to think about it past that.

Moving closer, he made sure to make not a sound, even though he was sure no one could hear him over such racket. His hand moved out, as soon as he was at the side of the bed, only to be distracted from the rude awakening his was about to give by a distinct little growl.

He glanced over in time to see a flash of red eyes, before they settled into clear, hard blue, staring at him in the vague light. For a moment, it felt as if a chill had swept through him, like some departing ghost. Then only surprise.

"A kid?" he questioned, as the other eyed him, as if trying to deem if he was a threat.

The decision seemed to be made as the boy shifted, curling closer to his quarry, laying his head on top of that arm he had been reaching for not too long ago, as if stating, 'Try it, and I'll hurt you.'

Drex stirred feeling Shane touch his arm. His eyes fluttered open, worry stabbing him, wondering if his boy was having visions again.

"Well, there goes that surprise," the intruder sighed, "Wanna call of your lil guard pup, Raven?"

Drex blinked at the voice and turned over to find his old friend Theoris Alvator standing over him. He began to laugh realizing what Ris had been trying to do.

Shane had sat up by that point, while Ris merely looked him, eyebrow raised, "Mind telling me what's funny? Swear the kid was going to bite me."

"You would deserve it for trying to wake me at three in the morning," he said chuckling. "Did you just now return home or have you been here all day and were just waiting to play a prank?"

Ris shook his head; "You should know me better than that. Just got back and was a bit restless and decided to go pay a friend a visit. That's all. Have to admit, I'm more relieved to find that kidling then someone else."

Drex arched an eyebrow. "Zephir has his own room, Ris. We haven't shared a room since we were padawans."

"Hasn't stopped those other times," was the mutter, before that smirk was back into place, "Is it safe to sit down, or is the guard pup going to attack me?"

"It's all right, nai,' he said softly. "He's a friend."

The boy thrilled a little, but was reassured, cuddling up to him again easily once he sat up.

"Guess that's the Padawan?" Ris had to ask.

"This is," Drex said in agreement. "Shane this is Ris. You'll be seeing a lot of him. Or maybe a little, depending on how much you scare him," he teased.

Ris snorted, "I'm not scared of a kid. More likely it'll be you driving me off, with comments like that."

Drex chuckled and stood, stretching. "Well I'd say you'd get what you deserved for trying to wake people in the wee hours of the morning."

Ris tsked. "So cruel. I think someone's coldness is bleeding off."

Drex shook his head slightly before he stretched and slipped out of bed, yawning. "Care for a cup of caf?" He had just gone to bed a few hours ago, but he supposed he could chat with Ris for awhile. It had been some time since he had seen him.

"I could go for one. I gotta be at the Crèche in a few hours anyways," Ris shrugged a little.

Drex frowned a little. "Why?" He glanced at Shane for a moment. "Would you like a mug of hot chocolate, nai?' He asked after a moment.

Shane perked visibly, a smile coming to his lips and a quiet 'Yes, please.'

Ris smirked a bit, "He's cute when he's not growling. Though, I bet mine will be much more so." It was an offhanded comment on why.

Drex smiled and ruffled the boy's hair gently. "Yours? I did not know you were considering a padawan."

"I wasn't, till last time I was here. Happened by the Crèche and spotted a darling little pitten, that I just know I want. Was just waiting for the right time," Ris shrugged a little.

They walked into their small kitchenette and Drex began to fix things on the stove to get their drinks ready. "And who are you dubbing pitten? I have not seen anyone in the crèche resembling one."

"Oh, I imagine you have seen her. She's a rather sweet lil girl, Zeltron, bouncy purple hair and pink skin that goes this very cute shade of red when she's excited or embarrassed," being a Firrerreo, he had more or less inherited the belief that names meant power, and so instead of many of his species, used them as little as possible.

"Oh I do know who you mean, "he glanced at Shane smiling slightly. "Nuri," he nodded at that and handed Ris a mug of caf, before handing his own apprentice a mug of hot chocolate.

Shane was glaring at Ris again, paying no attention to his drink. Seemed to be sizing him up, as if judging whether he was worthy of being even near his Nuri, let alone as her Master.

Ris eyed him back, as he drank his caf, before moving aside a gold and black lock of hair from his eyes, "That would be her. She really is a pitten, fluffy with claws."

"Something wrong with the drink, ne'?" He asked frowning noticing Shane's expression. He wasn't the best cook and he had been trying to do three things at once... perhaps he'd put salt instead of extra sugar?

Shane looked back to him, and shook his head mutely, signaling nothing was wrong, before he sipped at his drink, inwardly purring.

Ris merely raised an eyebrow, "You would think I was stealing his lil mate or something."

That shot those blue eyes right back at him, practically deadly, proving the other very right.

Drex frowned deeply at the lack of respect Shane was showing to Ris and vice versa, but especially concerned at the hostility from Shane. "Ris, do you mind giving us a few minutes?"

The younger shrugged, standing, "Think Ice Jedi is up? He keeps rather weird hours, and I had best harass him too while I'm at it."

That relationship had gotten just the barest bit better during the years, but still, neither Zephir nor Ris could stand each other for long.

"He's not awake, but you could ask him if he wants to join us in a cup of caf. Tell him I might burn something if he doesn't get up."

A mock salute as Ris set his cup down, "Will do, sir. We certainly can't have you burning down the Temple again," with that, he started off for Zephir's room just across the quarters.

Drex resisted the urge to correct him that he hadn't ever burned the Temple down because obviously it was still standing, but he did not. He glanced back at his apprentice. "What's the matter, Padawan?" he asked softly.

Shane wasn't going to hide his feelings from his Master, certainly not after Drex had stressed openness in their relationship, "I don't like him," he shrugged a little.

Drex considered the boy for a moment, and ran a hand through his own hair. "What don't you like?"

A slight shrug, "He's loud, and brash, and.." it was just natural. A scent, a look, something just set him off.

"Padawan, sometimes you're going to have to tolerate and be around people you don't like. If we are sent on a mission and you do not like an ambassador, how do you think they will react if you growl at them and we're their security?" he said seriously.

"Wouldn't do it on a mission," Shane assured, sipping at his drink again.

Drex studied him for a few minutes longer. "Then please tolerate him because he is a dear friend to me."

"He speaks like he doesn't like Zephir," that was another added element.

Drex sighed at that. "You don't understand what Zephir was like before he is the man he is now, nai," he said after a long moment. He looked away, his eyes seeming unfocused for a moment.

Shane watched him, concern trickling into his eyes, "But shouldn't he respect him for who he is now?"

"He should, but some things don't change no matter how much we want them to," he gripped his own mug of caf a little tighter.

"And yet, things can change in ways we never could guess," Ris stated, coming from behind them, "And to report, he states that he gives you permission, and will kill you if you ever let me in his bedroom again. Swear he was going for the whips."

Drex laughed slightly at that. "You're just not on very good terms with anyone at three in the morning, I suppose."

Ris shrugged, "It's a trait. One I'm very proud of." At that, he approached, to st beside Shane, and ruffled his hair, "As to it, pup, Ice Jedi and I have terms, that's why it looks like I don't respect him. But I do, more then you'll ever believe. Oh," he grinned then, showing off his fangs, "And I figure we two dominate males will have to figure out terms of our own, don't we?"

"I fear what terms you might have in mind," Drex quipped after a moment.

"Just friendly terms between myself and the kid. He doesn't like me, can tell straight off," a bit more of a smirk then, "But I made a bad impression. Should know, you're raising a Padawan without a sense of humor."

"He thought you were going to attack me," Drex jabbed his friend in the shoulder.

Ris chuckled, "Wouldn't be the first time. But all right," he looked to Shane, who had that glare back in his eyes, "Here's the deal. I'm going to ask your permission. Promise I'm not a bad guy, pup. I'm really a loyal old man, who's been with your Master since he was three times younger than you. So, I'm not all that bad. And I'll take very good care of your girl. She'll get to see you whenever we can now if she accepts. So, deal?" He offered his hand.

Staring at him in bewilderment, Shane hesitantly, finally, took his wrist. The young knight smiled, "There we go. See, us dominates can get right along."

"We'll see, if you're still singing the same tune if you ever end up having to discipline a padawan," Drex said, eyeing the two of them for a moment.

Ris shook his head, "Knowing me and women, that'll be a rare thing."

Drex was distracted for a moment as Zephir entered. "What's this I hear about you letting me burn down the place?"

That entailed a half glare, and Ke'dran moved to the stove, to make himself tea, "I figured it best, since you let that animal into my room."

"Didn't I tell you to lock up strays?"

Drex smiled a little. "You would rather live in an acrid smoke scented apartment instead?'

"I believed in smothering myself before then," finishing his work, Zephir poured the near scalding tea into a cup, and then sipped at it.

Drex arched a brow at that before he shook his head. "I see, well I promise I won't let the demon in on you again, I just figured you might want to join us for a drink. Would hate for you to miss the party."

"Then send Shane. The last thing I wanted in this life was Theoris seeing me asleep," Zephir raised an eyebrow.

"Tis was no pleasure for me either, I assure you," Ris stated.

Drex smirked a little at the exchange. "Well now what do we want to do now that we're all awake? The crèche doesn't open for several more hours yet."

Zephir snorted, "I'm planning on returning back to bed, and will take the boy if you insist on staying up at this hour."

"You do that, I suppose Ris and I will just have to entertain ourselves," there was a wicked gleam in his eye that was seldom there.

Zephir raised an eyebrow, before going to Shane. Gently caressing his hair, he whispered something in his ear. Shane nodded, and stood, taking his mug with him as they moved to Zephir's room.

Drex watched them go and glanced back at Ris. "Well now what?"

Ris shrugged, "Your place, your party."

"You didn't seem to care that it was my place before," he pointed out smirking slightly.

"Have I ever?" Ris smirked in return.

Drex rolled his eyes. "Only if my Master was around and even then you didn't care much."

Ris smiled sweetly, "Of course not. I tend to like roaming where I please."

"I guess personal quarters and privacy don't mean much to you, do they?" Drex teased.

"Not really," a little shrug.

"On the subject of your padawan, I thought Nuri had wanted to be a Healer," he said frowning slightly. "She was helping out in the Healer's ward several days a week." Worry was eating at him. He did not want what happened to Ren to happen to Nuri. He wished to spare his friend from the heart pain of losing a padawan.

"She's good at it, I admit. And I had the same doubts when I first saw her. But something keeps drawing me back to her. She's got an iron core there, and a harder then durasteel will. She would be perfect in the field as a special ops healer, even if not fully special ops."

Drex nodded after a long moment, "I merely was thinking," he said knowing he did not have to say what of.

Ris nodded a little, sobering, "I know."

He pulled his thoughts away from Ren after a moment. "But she'd have to have a durasteel will to put up with you," he teased.

"Oh, I assure you, she's a tough one. Told me right off the moment we met, stating that if I wasn't serious, she wasn't interested."

"How long ago did you meet her?" He asked interestedly.

"About a year ago, last I was really home," Ris shrugged, "Hope she remembers me."

"You're rather impossible to forget, so I'm sure she does," Drex remarked.

He grinned at that, "Glad I'm so rememberable."

"The word is memorable," he said shaking his head. "You want to catch a few hours of sleep on the couch before the crèche opens?"

Ris shook his head, "I'm used to being up. That last mission did me in a bit."

"Well I think I'm going to crash for a few more hours if you don't mind?" he said. "I hate to be a poor host, but you're welcome to whatever you need while I crash for a little while longer."

"I say you're pretty generous for a poor host," Ris drawled, and nodded, "But thanks. I'll see you in a few hours."

"All right, if I can't go back to sleep, I'll get back up and blame you for it, I say that's fair enough," Drex said, yawning.

Ris chuckled, "Feel free to."

Drex went back to his room after slapping his friend on the back. He crawled in his bed, yawning and pulled his pillow over his head. Some part of him felt slightly guilty for leaving Ris out there without any company, but really, the man should have more sense than to wake people up before dawn. That thought was the thought that carried him to sleep, all feelings of guilt gone.


	4. Chapter Three: And I Look

**Chapter Three: And I Look **

_Vision looks inward and becomes duty. Vision looks outward and becomes aspiration. Vision looks upward and becomes faith. Stephen S. Wise_

* * *

Qui-Gon was almost beside himself with eagerness. Today he was going to learn to use the lightsaber for the very first time! The time had finally come! His class would be taken to the gym in the afternoon where they did basic stretches to warm up and then they would learn the first two katas of Form I.

He was very excited, but he knew he had to try and pay attention in his lessons first, even though all he really wanted to do was talk to Kyran and Shane about their beginnings with a lightsaber. What was it like? Did they still remember what it was like the very first time they had touched one and held it in their hand?

He had to resist the urge to reach to them immediately to get his questions answered, but he knew they were with their potential Masters and would likely not appreciate his interruption.

"Want to play a game with me, Jinn?" a girl's voice interrupted his thoughts. She always called him Jinn, never using his first name, which struck him as slightly odd, but then girls were weird, he had discovered this fact early on.

"What game?" he asked.

"We could play hops ball?" she suggested, her green and gold striped eyes twinkling brightly at the idea.

Qui-Gon's face brightened a little. Hops ball was one of his favorite games. Shane and Kyran had taught him how to play "Okay," he said cheerfully, his mind dismissing the earlier thoughts. "But we need more people," he pointed out. "Can't play hops ball with just two."

Tahl frowned slightly considering. "Maybe Sian and Trey will play with us?" she suggested.

He nodded at that; they were some of his friends that he had met when his bondmates first started visiting their prospective masters twice a week. "Sounds good to me!" He chirped.

Tahl pranced off, her hair flouncing behind her as she went.

Not much later she was back, Sian more or less swaggering behind her as she walked, putting fingers behind Tahl's head and sniggering. Tahl felt his movements and swatted him. He pretended to look injured as they made their way over.

Trey came behind them, braided hair swaying with his steps, rolling his eyes at Sian's antics, though he didn't try to stop them. Instead, he turned his attention on Qui-Gon once they stopped in front of him.

"Hey Sian, Trey. So who's got the ball?" Qui-Gon greeted as his friends came over.

"I took the liberty of swiping it as we came over," Sian said producing a ball with a dramatic flourish.

Tahl elbowed him in the ribs. "More like you stole it from me."

Sian pouted. "I did nothing of the sort. "You two don't believe her do you?" He looked imploringly at Trey and Qui-Gon.

Trey raised an eyebrow, "Considering I watched you do it, you shouldn't ask," it was a purely straightforward answer, as if he couldn't quite believe Sian would ask otherwise.

Qui-Gon laughed a little as Sian glowered at Trey, his pout deepening. "Some help you are," he muttered.

Trey looked unmoved, shrugging a little, "Can't lie," was the simple explanation.

Sian shook his head a little and Tahl glared at him. "If you're done sulking, can we play now?"

Not much later the crèche Master had come over to their group to herd them into a line to take them all to the gymnasium. Qui-Gon couldn't stop grinning. Sian flashed him a thumbs up from his place in line.

The lightsabers were all in a row on the side of the practice room. They were training sabers, Qui-Gon knew, not strong enough to hurt them. "Good afternoon class," Master Lanal, the lightsaber instructor, smiled at the assembled students. "My name is Master Lanal. We will begin today with the first five steps of Form I. Please go select your lightsaber from the wall and afterward I will place you where you should be."

Qui-Gon walked over to the wall along with the other children as he was instructed. His eyes widened as he took the blade in his hands. It felt so _right..._

He turned it over in his hands, surveying it carefully, almost reverently. He let out a breath at how perfect it felt when he held it. He barely heard Master Lanal telling him where to go but his feet moved automatically to obey the Master.

His mind pulled back to what he was doing eventually as the rest of his classmates were put in their positions. "Now that we're all in position, everyone touch this switch," the master indicated the button, "and turn blades on."

Obediently Qui-Gon pressed his thumb switch and an emerald blade shot out of it.

* * *

Drex sat cross-legged in the meditation chamber facing his padawan. "How have you been handling the transition so far do you think?" he asked gently.

Shane smiled at him, purely content, "Well, Master. Taking it slow was best. We're learning more on how to stay connected, even when apart for various lengths of time."

"Good," Drex's heart was warm and hopeful at those words. "Does distance matter between you?" he asked thoughtfully.

"So far it hasn't," none of them had been too far away from each other yet, but Shane had a feeling it wouldn't matter regardless.

He nodded at that. "Very good. How are Qui-Gon and Kyran handling things do you think?"

Shane considered, "Qui-Gon is taking it the hardest. He has never really known separation, like I and Ky have."

"Is there anything that would help make it easier for him?" Drex asked, frowning some.

Shane shook his head a little, "Time. He'll realize we don't leave him, even when we physically do. He knows it in his heart."

"Right," Drex agreed. "But it's taking longer for his young mind to catch up."

Shane nodded, "He'll realize it soon."

"Yes that's what I hope. Incidentally," he paused suddenly feeling nervous. "I had planned to speak to the Council about officially becoming your master in two months time."

Shane's eyes brightened, before he smiled, "Master..." any further words caught in his throat, as his eyes suddenly widened, growing glazed.

An alarmed look crossed Drex's face. "Padawan?" He said urgently. "What's the matter?"

There was no response, not even a flicker of acknowledgement. //Padawan?// he asked again, pouring more power to reach him. His boy never even looked in his direction, but continued to sit there frozen.

* * *

_  
Light._

_Everything was bathed in it._

_He wasn't sure where he was exactly, at first. But as the light began to fade, eased from his eyes, he realized that he was standing on a balcony. His eyes didn't tell him that though. When the light was gone, all that was left to him was darkness._

_It was the sound of the wind that whipped around him, tugging playfully at long hair, and thick robes. The feel of metal under his hands, railing. It was the warmth of the dying sun on his skin. His senses that constantly whispered of the world around him, even without his eyesight._

_He knew he was himself, that this was him, at some point in his life. Almost, he panicked with the knowledge that he had lost his eyes, unable to imagine living in such an existence._

_Yet, oddly, this him in the future, the solid, real future, was purely at peace with it, for reasons he did not yet know._

_"Shane," he knew that voice, much older now though it was. He knew that feel in his soul, that connection, that piece snapping into place sense that came as a large hand touched his shoulder._

_A smile touched his lips before he even turned, purely loving, as his soul reached out to tangle with its counterpart, that in his reality was still so innocent, so small. This future one... was anything but, he could tell. Stained and cracked, but still his Nihan..._

_"Qui-Gon," his own fingers gently touched the hand on his shoulder, "You've come home."_

_"So I have. And not alone," that hand moved, catching his, bringing it down to gently touch the shoulder of the boy he oddly hadn't noticed, for all that he was aware of._

_In that instant, everything seemed to click into place. A fire sparked from that touch, up through his nerves, as if he had just set his fingers into the sun. It wasn't painful, just all consuming to the point that it might have been. Spreading, it flared through every part of him, even as his hand gripped at that so thin and fragile shoulder._

_That same light from before blinded him, burned into his eyes mercilessly. Yet, when it faded, this time, he could see, and found himself looking at the most beautiful being he had ever seen in the Force... Vibrant blue eyes met his, and in that one short moment, he knew who it was before him._

_But before he could utter the word, the world collapsed into gray around him, the vision yet too much for his young mind to handle._

_Still, his heart held the image long after it was gone._

* * *

"Master?" Kyran was getting tired of sitting still. They had been listening to this same speech for four hours already. His eyes were beginning to glaze over. He fidgeted a little. "Can we go yet?"

Zephir glanced to him, seeing how hard the boy struggled, and smiled slightly, before rising, "Let us go. There is nothing of importance today to be discussed." He was sure to be very soft about that.

He stood very quickly at that before his master could change his mind and rubbed his backside just a little. He had been going numb from sitting there so long in that position. "I tried to listen," he said hoping his master wouldn't be unhappy with him.

Entering the hall, Zephir nodded, "Did you learn anything?"

Kyran tried to recall something to not disappoint his teacher. His look brightened. "A little," he chirped. "The Ambassador's name is unpronounceable, but I can spell it! And they want the Republic's help before the famine becomes too much."

Zephir looked very pleased at that, and put a hand to his soon to be apprentice's shoulder, "That is very well, Kyran."

He blushed under his master's praise. "Is it?" he asked hopefully. "But it was so long..."

"You will learn how to shift through the babble and find the meaning," Zephir promised, "That was a good start."

"He wasn't very fun to listen to," Kyran said after glancing around to make sure no one could hear him.

Zephir nodded, "Unfortunately, this part is rarely fun."

"Master?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yes, Kyran?" Zephir returned.

He hesitated before he said, "All our missions aren't going to be like this are they?" he didn't think he could stand sitting through stuff like that with every mission...

"Not every mission. Sometimes it is required of us though."

He nodded at that, feeling very relieved that not every mission was going to be like this one. "Yes, Master," he said before tensing a little, his eyes widening at the feeling he was getting from the bond.

Zephir paused, hand tightening on Kyran's shoulder, "What's wrong?"

"Shane," he murmured to himself, seeming not to listen to Zephir. He was putting his efforts into contacting his bondmate. //Shane?//

Zephir stopped himself from demanding at that, worry boiling in his chest. Silently he began guiding his child outside, to the speeder waiting. They had to get home.

"He's not answering me," Kyran said; when they were almost home, worry twisting his insides.

"I'm sure it's another vision," or so Zephir hoped. Drex would not dare let anything happen to him otherwise.

Kyran blinked a little, not having thought of that. Perhaps that's what it was. Whatever it was, he resolved to ask him about it when they got back.

* * *

It was slow coming back to awareness, slower than the other times had been. It was almost as if he hadn't wanted to wake. From what, he was not yet entirely sure, his mind devoid of what had just happened, though his heart knew. "Master?"

He knew where he was after a moment, this was his Master's room, his Master's bed..

Drex had been sitting on his bed, a datapad in his lap as he had been waiting for him to awaken. At the voice he put the datapad down anxiously. "Padawan?'

Kyran was next to him also, having smushed himself between Shane and Drex. He put down the homework he'd been working on as he felt the bond stirring again. "Shane?" he asked worriedly.

Zephir, sitting in a chair by the bed, also glanced up as he heard that voice, though he said nothing as Shane's eyes blinked a few times, focusing, before they landed on first Kyran, "Ky..." they then shifted to Drex, "Master..." he frowned a little, "What happened?"

"That's what we'd all like to know ne',' Drex said softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," a little yawn, "Last I remember, we were meditating..."

"You fainted," Drex replied, gently. "I brought you home after that and put you to bed. Kyran said when he arrived it was probably a vision. Is that what it was?"

Shane tried to recall, frowning a little when he turned up nothing, "I think it was... But I can't remember."

"You can't remember anything of what it was about?" Kyran asked in disappointment.

Shane shook his head, "Nothing."

Kyran frowned in surprise. Shane had never had a vision he had not remembered yet.

Zephir rose then, moving to the other side of the bed, and settling at the edge as he brushed tender fingers through Shane's hair, "It must have been too much for you, at least for now. I'm sure you'll remember in time."

Drex's eyes flickered as Zephir began to stroke Shane's hair. "Yes, perhaps you will. One never can tell what sort of things might happen with visions.

Shane nodded, leaning into Zephir's touch as he yawned again, "Of course... It'll come again. They always do."

"They always do?" Kyran asked blinking a little. "Every time?"

Shane inclined his head, "Yes. At least once more before they happen."

"You going to be okay?" he asked curling up closer to his bondmate, resisting the urge to pull him from Zephir's grip.

Shane pressed closer to him, out of Zephir's touched as he sleepily nuzzled his bondmate's cheek, "Just fine. It wasn't a bad vision."

"It wasn't?" Shane's visions almost always were bad ones.

"I feel... peaceful. Almost happy," Shane mused, even though he didn't know why.

"Really?" Kyran blinked and rested his head against Shane's chest.

Shane shared his feelings with him, rather then replied.

Kyran's eyes widened as the happy feeling stole over him and he cooed slightly.

Shane smiled, and wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling his face into his bondmate's hair, even as his eyes closed.

Kyran's eyes closed too. He just wanted to stay here and enjoy the happiness while it lasted. It left him with a feeling of great contentment.

* * *

It was like a current of pure power had washed across the world.

Or so it felt in Theron's mind, all thought going blank for a moment as he felt it, as he sensed destiny lock around him, freeze to the point that all had seemed to stop within it.

When it really was just in him.

"It's happened," that was the first thing he heard as his senses returned to him.

He didn't turn, he knew who stood behind him. Nothing could feel that old, and yet that innocently young at the same time.

"Still masquerading in the body of that child? Whenever will you tire of the game? He'll eventually want his corpse back," it was light, mocking. He still didn't understand the pretense of using another in such a way. The body he had, was his own, even if it had not been his original flesh.

"When I please. And you are avoiding it," Merrick returned, and he could hear him settling against a wall.

"Far from it. I merely wish not to discuss it. The Key has been set in motion, destiny is on the move. The goal is locked away in one heart, and even I cannot open it, though I control the safe in which it's kept. The Force moves on Its own designs at times, that we cannot influence. What It gives to them, is for them alone, specifically for the Key that it has forged."

There was a shift behind him, "Do you truly believe that?"

"I know that. Unlike you, I listen to the Power, and I follow Its directives to the letter. You are the one that made your mistakes. One would think you would have learned, being faced with it every day. Is that not why you sealed your own remains away?" it was not mocking then, merely knowing, as Theron always was.

The gritting of teeth, and he smirked a little, "Careful. You'll damage your mistake, and your prize. As to it, you should be gone, this is no place for a Jedi, former or not."

"You will not speak further of this? Of the fact..." he turned to him then, silencing him with a hard look from deadly crimson eyes.

"I will not. The game is still motion. Do as you please, and I will do as willed of me. We shall see the end result in time. What has come here, is the second mark from the Force, the first being their uniting. Tread carefully, or another will take your place should you question the Power so," it was a sharp warning, slicing at the much older being before him.

Merrick merely gazed at him, from eyes so deep they put the oceans of countless worlds to shame, "You know better. We are locked into place. Neither can be removed, chosen as we are, no matter what mistakes we make. And you are wrong, Lord Theron. This is not the second move, this is the third. The first, was their creation to prepare the way. For what, has now been revealed to them alone, though we both seek it. You may not wish to know what has been given to them, but I will find it, be if I have to be as ruthless as you," with that, he was gone, leaving a soft chill in the already icy air.

Gazing long at the spot, Theron turned away as he heard a noise behind him. There, his apprentice stood, silent, ghost like. Eyes that barely kept insanity in check within, watched him, with such intensity that he might have feared the other's claws at his throat at any moment, if he knew fear.

Yet, he did not, and merely nodded to the boy, who was only of fifteen years. Nearly an adult, and showing every inch of it, in power, and in build, "Jer'en, I think it's time we return home for a while. I believe it is almost time to throw our Heart of Darkness into the first forging fire, and watch it purify into what we have need of."

"Gladly, my Lord," those ever so cold eyes sparked, that madness almost unleashed. But not yet... "The fires would have to be hot indeed, to make my nihan what you wish."

"Not hot. What we need is time, to make the most temperate of blades. Especially such a blade of destruction," Theron corrected, sweeping past his apprentice.

Time, which was now counting down to the first of many tests.

The Force had just given the mark of it.


	5. Chapter Four: Within the Heart

**  
Chapter Four: Within the Heart  
**

_You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you. Frederick Buechner_

* * *

_A breath, two. _

_Shane sighed, curling closer to the warmth next to him, happy, content in a shadow that he remembered, and had not felt in so long. It was one of those visions._

_They were so rare, yet so precious, that he sometimes found himself not wanting to wake. Because only there, with the last dying remnants of who he had been, was the one that once owned his entire world._

_'Nihan,' that voice, so loving, so sure, so protective. He opened his eyes, to smile brightly at its owner._

_'Nissan,' a coo, and he snuggled closer, begging for a bit more time in his heart._

_'Nihan. Jer'en wants to show you something today. Have to get up," a little coax, and his brother picked him up from their warm nest._

_He felt himself tense. But he relaxed again. Jer'en was still family here, because Nissan was there. As long as Nissan was there, the world fit together perfectly._

_Yet, somehow, the closer they drew, the more something felt wrong. Shivering, he cuddled closer, even as they moved from their room in the small abandoned building, into the larger area._

_And there ahead..._

_His heart felt like it was being ripped out. Agony pierced through him the moment he laid eyes on his Ke' across the way, tangled in what looked like a web of black strings, that cut deeper with every weak movement he made. Blood dribbled across those strings, slipped down to the dust..._

_"Ja'!" he tried to squirm from his brother's arms, not understanding why they were allowing it, why no one was helping him..._

_"Now now, Me'. You're the one who left him to suffer," that voice froze him, and when he looked back to who was holding him, he almost cried out in something almost akin to terror for the first time in his life._

_Jer'en's half decayed face smiled in return._

* * *

Shane bolted up, forcing himself awake as he gasped, that cry lodged in his throat as he trembled, arms coming about him to hold tight, as he curled his knees to his chest. "La'..." Where was the other? Usually he prevented such from coming.

Drex stirred, a loud snore cutting short as he awoke feeling more than hearing his padawan's distress. He came awake, trying to blink sleep out of his eyes. "Padawan? What's the matter?"

Shane wanted to whimper, as he heard him, but forced it down as he glanced to his Master, "Nothing...Just a bad dream." Or so he thought. Only, the pain hadn't stopped. He still felt agony somewhere.

Drex frowned in concern and wrapped his arm around the boy to pull him closer. "Vision?"

A little nod, "Be okay," Shane sighed, unconsciously snuggling against him, feeling the odd urge to cry.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked, rubbing his back, trying to soothe him.

Shane shook his head. The Master wouldn't understand.

Drex sighed softly in disappointment that his child didn't open up to him. "Are you sure?" he pressed gently. Shane had never kept his visions from him before.

A slight shrug, "Hurts," was Shane's explanation as to why he wouldn't say.

"Hurts where?" he asked, gripping him tighter, wishing he could ward off what was hurting him.

Shane touched his heart, in silent answer.

"Your heart?" He asked softly. He knew what heart pains were like. He remembered how it felt days after Ren's death, he couldn't even breathe his heart hurt so much.

A slight, hesitant nod and Shane looked away, cuddling closer.

Drex's arms tightened in a hug. "What about your heart hurts so much? Tell me little one," he urged.

Shane was silent on the matter, ever protective of that pulsing darkness deep within his own heart, "Just hurts. Bad dream."

"Do you want to share it with me?" he asked softly.

The thought of Ja'thernen in that web again, burned through his mind, and he suppressed a whimper, "Just old memories," even when it didn't feel like it.

Drex couldn't understand why Shane wouldn't share them. He always had before. "Would some hot chocolate help you relax a little?"

Shane perked up a little, briefly, but hesitated to nod. It was late. And his Master needed sleep...

Drex knew what he wanted and slid out of bed, not letting go of him. Shane was still small enough for him to carry, though he wouldn't be for too many more years, Drex knew. "Come on, little one," he said. "The kitchen is the place for us."

Shane wrapped his arms about his neck on instinct, surprised a bit by this, but didn't protest, feeling perfectly comforted being carried. Even if it was such a childish desire.

Drex rubbed his back soothingly as he walked knowing his boy needed comfort. Something had to have disturbed him even more than his visions of the Temple burning, for he had never reacted like this from a dream. Always he had been willing to share it.

Shane purred weakly at the touch, only able to give so much, with his mind so submerged in the darkness of his dream, on the pain in his chest, not all his own.

Drex began making the hot chocolate and brewing hot water for tea for himself. He didn't say anything while he worked; he merely concentrated on sending comfort to the boy in his arms.

Shane merely leaned against him, resting his head buried between his arms, face pressed to Drex's shoulder. Once in a while, he cooed at Drex's comfort, though it was soft.

Eventually the hot chocolate and tea was ready and he put Shane down so he could hold the mugs to pour the drinks without spilling.

Shane let himself be put down, silently sitting on the cabinet, watching him.

He sat down in a chair at the table after handing him a mug and taking the tea for himself. The silence was a bit strange after a nightmare. He wondered what could possibly be so wrong.

Shane sipped at his drink, muscles loosening visibly as the chocolate took affect, easing everything but the soft pain within. That nightmare... Somehow, he knew it wasn't just a nightmare. He just couldn't understand. Something was happening to Ja'thernen... he could feel that as surely as if it were happening to himself. But he didn't know what.

Drex was unsure how to break the silence that had settled between them. He wanted to reassure the boy, but he wasn't sure how.

"Nissan was there," it was so soft, it almost seemed impossible to hear. Shane wasn't sure where the confession was coming from, only that it was pouring out, possibly in the sad hope that he could understand.

Drex's heart twanged at that. "He was?" he asked, reaching to the boy, opening his arm for him to climb up on his lap if he wanted.

Shane took the offer, without a thought, heart breaking at the remembrance of those long gone arms from his dream. He nodded a little, "He was waking me up, said Jer'en wanted me to see something..."

A shiver sparked up his spine at the thought of the other.

Drex blinked a little at that, not speaking merely listening, letting his child talk. He sent more of his comfort along their bond.

Shane leaned against him again, taking bigger drinks from his mug, "We were at the old home... Nissan carried me into the big group room, and there..." another shudder, a whimper as he closed his eyes, as if to block the image, and only draw it more to him, "Ja'... Ja' was there. In pain... I wanted Nissan to stop it, but when I looked..." a harder shiver, "It wasn't Nissan. It was Jer'en... But... decayed. Dead, yet alive..."

Concerned at that Drex wondered how to best proceed. Perhaps they should check on things on Saren and see how this Ja'thernen was. "Maybe I can arrange for a mission home to see how things are," he said after a long silence.

Something sparked in Shane's eyes, both terror and yet relief, "Could you?" Something had to be wrong. Something was wrong. Or the pain would have stopped with the dream. Yet it only burned more in his chest.

"I could," he said softly. "There's no guarantee that the council will agree to it, but I will see what I can do."

Shane nodded, understanding, but hoping they would allow it, "Thank you, Master."

He wrapped his arm around him a little tighter. "You're welcome. It's been awhile since you've visited home. Perhaps we can be Te'mahte's escort this time. Would that help or make things worse?"

Shane considered a little. It would be the easiest way there, on pretense of duty and being near Kieran always made things seem better oddly. But... "We have to go North though..."

"We can explain to Te'mahte' before we go. She might have need to speak with the Elders that remain besides. That would clear the gap long enough for us to get in and out."

Shane nodded, knowing that was best, though his heart twisted a little at the thought of the Elders. Vague anger, the taste of something at the back of his throat. It faded quickly, as if it were not his own.

"Something else wrong, Ne'?" he asked concerned having sensed the brief flash of anger.

Shane blinked up to him, and shook his head mutely, unsure of what it was himself.

"We'll speak to the Council in the morning," he said, rubbing his wings again comfortingly.

Shane cooed a little, before nodding. He hoped the Council would allow it, swiftly. Somehow, even though he knew Ja'thernen hated him, he could feel he needed him. It almost felt as if he were sobbing his name.

Drex felt the boy tensing more. "What is it?" he murmured.

"Nothing," was the soft return. Shane couldn't' confess it, having guarded that for so long.

Drex felt the lie and frowned slightly. "Padawan," his voice was practically begging him to talk.

Shane looked to him pleadingly, not wishing to speak, unsure of how he would take it.

Drex sighed and finally decided to let it go, unable to resist the look on his boy's face.

Something seemed to break in Shane's heart, at that look of surrender, "It's...Master..." he wasn't sure how to state what he wanted.

Drex gave him another querying look before he took a sip of his tea. If it was important to Shane he supposed he could keep his secrets.

Another sigh, Shane looked away, "My heartbeat isn't mine."

Drex's brow furrowed at that. He knew that already. He was joined with Qui-Gon and Kyran.

Catching his thoughts, Shane shook his head a little, "It's theirs, and yet not."

"What do you mean then?" he asked finally.

A long hesitance, Shane's head bowed lower, "It's his... They're not the only ones I'm attached to."

Surprise showed in Drex's features at that. This could complicate things perhaps.

Shane cringed at the surprise he felt, "I feel him, even now. He hurts so badly, Master."

There was confusion there now. He had thought Ja'thernen had rejected Shane.

"It was quiet for a long while... We could still feel, but it was muffled... weak. We never learned how to turn it off..."

"And you felt his pain in your sleep," It wasn't a question. Drex knew that had to be how it was. He sighed a long, tired sigh. He thought for a moment as he considered what to do.

A little nod, Shane spared a glance, "Is it bad, to have this?"

Drex considered his next words carefully. "If it helped keep you alive on Saren when you were a child, then I don't think it can be considered bad. You did what you had to to survive. You and Ja'thernen both. I wasn't sure how much Force strength Ja'thernen had, but Zephir and I both felt there was some there. He is more powerful than either of us realized if he has the abilities to do such."

Shane bit his lip, thinking through on his own words, before he confessed, "He's stronger, than I am. Or was."

Drex looked over in surprise at that and some concern now for such a one to have such sensitivity in such a dark place. "He was?"

A slight nod, "He was...weaker after what happened. As if some of it passed to me when he brought me back..."

"Brought you back? So the bond you shared was caused by him saving you from death?"

Another little nod, "I was...really sick after..." a tremble, "Nissan was taken. I..." a hand pressed lightly to a side, remembering old wounds, old burns, "I wasn't suppose to survive. Jer'en said so."

Drex tightened his grip on the child. "Jer'en was wrong. You were supposed to survive."

Shane gave him a look, "I know that now. Ja' made me live, my bondmates give me the reason I didn't understand then. And I know Jer'en was angry. My Nissan was too important to lose. If there had been a choice..." He would have preferred it had been him.

"I know," Drex said softly. "But I am glad there wasn't one." He paused after a minute, his face turned slightly red before he took another sip of his tea.

Shane's eyes were dark, yet he nodded once more, "I wish my Nissan was the one alive instead, but I know he would not wish it. He was always like that..." his voice grew a bit distant, as his gaze shifted to his hands, which once more lay in his lap.

Drex's grip tightened a little more. He wanted to say he would not wish it, but he knew that his child already knew that and saying such might not help things.

Shane leaned into him more, sighing faintly, "He would be able to help Ja'... As I cannot."

"We will do what we can to help," the words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to really think about it. Anything to give his boy peace of mind.

Shane nodded, but didn't seem convinced. Because Ja'thernen would be impossible to find on Saren, and he had no doubts that the other would not wish to see him. Even if he was calling him,

Drex squeezed his arm in as reassuring manner as possible. "It will be all right," he said softly. "The Force will see that things work out. It always does."

Shane had to accept that, though his heart twisted once more with the pain from his Ke'. Silently, he sent his strength, only for it to be rejected by walls he could not pierce.

Drex was watching his child's face and the careful way he tried to hide his disappointment. "He's rejecting your help?" he guessed.

Shane looked up to him, "He hasn't accepted since I betrayed him."

Drex watched him carefully. "Do you regret your decision to help him by helping kill Jer'en despite the fact that he would've died that night?"

"I didn't help, I did kill Jer'en, alone. And had Ja' not accepted my punishment, Jer'en would not have had to die."

"But you meant to help. You thought it would help and could see no other way. But Ja'thernen did not understand things that way, did he?" he asked gently, curling Shane closer and rubbing his back comfortingly.

Shane leaned more against him, cuddling up tight as if trying to meld with him. No purr came, even as those nerves were brushed, "Ja' thought he was supposed to die that night. Jer'en always told Ja' that he wasn't meant to live...Nissan tried to fix it, I tried...But..."

"I know," he said soothingly. "You did all you could. Unfortunately you can't make people accept you even when you wish you could." He was well acquainted with such. "All you can do is be there for when they decide to reach back, even if they never do."

"And Ja' never will," Shane knew him too well. Even after all this time, he knew him, and in his heart, he knew the pain would only grow worse, until it consumed him.

"You must never give up hope," He said softly. "Never is too long a time for absolutes."

"Yet I know him," Shane lightly touched his heart, "I wonder what this makes me..."

"What do you mean?" he asked, not sure he understood his train of thought.

"I share my life force with Ja', because he is what gave me life again. And yet, I share souls with my bondmates. So I wonder, how much is what was supposed to be with us, and how much is what Ja' gave me."

Drex carefully considered his words. "I'm sure what is in the bond between you and your bondmates is always what was supposed to be there. The Force's will is a mysterious thing that can take a lifetime to understand. Even one like Master Yoda doesn't always understand why things are the way they are, merely that they are. And all things the Force will work out to the benefit of it's servants, even if we go through a period of testing first. It always builds us up."

Shane nodded a little, but his brow furrowed, "Yet, I do wonder since Ja' is apart me, is he not also apart of the bond in some way?"

Drex was thoughtful. "Perhaps on some level he is, but not at the same level you are, I don't think," he said at last. "If Kyran and Qui-Gon have never noticed him there, then I doubt he affects the bond very much at all."

"At least, not yet," the words came unbidden, Shane's eyes glazing briefly, before he blinked it away, brow furrowing.

"What do you mean?" he asked frowning, at the boy's words.

Shane looked to him, slightly confused, "What, Master?"

"You implied that Ja'thernen might affect the bond later in the future." Drex's brow furrowed.

"I did?" Shane questioned, as he did not remember it.

Drex nodded, his frown deepening. "You don't remember? It was only two seconds ago."

Another shake of the head, "I don't remember, Master."

Drex was surprised. Maybe his boy was making a prophecy and didn't even know it. He made a note to talk to Zephir about it later.

Shane sighed, and huddled into himself, "I do that, sometimes..."

"You do what?" he asked, "Make prophecies without remembering them?"

Shane nodded, "Master Yoda said I sometimes speak when in deep meditation. I don't remember it..."

Drex scowled slightly. The master had never mentioned this to him yet. "He never told me."

"I asked him not to," Shane looked away, "I don't like not knowing, or being able to control it. I'm getting better, but..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked after a long moment. Some part of him hurt that the boy hadn't chosen to share it with him but had shared it with Master Yoda instead. It seemed no matter how much he tried to open up there were still gaps between them that he needed to grasp and close, gaps he didn't even know existed.

He knew he shouldn't hold it against the boy. It was a petty thing to be hurt over. But he had thought he was doing a decent job as the boy's Master.

Shane kept his gaze down, "It only happened around the Old One before. I thought it was his power setting it off... I didn't want you to worry, since I know how dangerous our missions will be and that lapses can't be afforded... I didn't want..." He didn't want him to reconsider taking him because of that risk.

Something in Drex seemed to break. His child had been afraid of him reconsidering his decision? His grip tightened on the boy, nearly crushing him. "I would never reconsider. You belong at my side, if you want to be there."

Shane didn't mind the tightness, as he nuzzled his face into Drex's chest, "Want to. Badly... That's why I was afraid..."

"You don't have to be afraid anymore," Drex soothed. "I'm not going anywhere, neither are you."

Shane seemed to relax at that, clinging to him finally, "Don't accept promises," because they meant nothing.

Drex gave a soft sigh. "I never promised. Promises can be broken and thus I do not like to make them. one never can tell what the future may hold." He pulled away after a moment and considered. "But I do know this. That whatever it may bring, I will always be right there at your side."

"How do you know?" Shane asked softly. He didn't know how the other could know. The only ones he truly believed would not leave him were his bondmates, and that was because they were one and the same in the end. One couldn't leave one's self.

"Because when we die we embrace the Force," He said softly. "The Force is everywhere and I will be apart of you then, in an even more intimate way than I am now."

Shane took a moment to absorb that, eyes dark still, troubled, as if not believing, "But I won't feel you there."

Drex wasn't really sure how to reassure the boy. He merely embraced him more.

Shane sighed, and allowed himself to sink more into that embrace. He could not accept his Master's words, even though he knew them true. He would be there, but Shane wouldn't be able to feel that, as he was unable to feel his mother, or brother. So it only made it hurt more in the end, to know, and yet never touch.

Drex allowed the silence for awhile before he said finally, "Do you think if I help you, we could reach Ja'thernen?"

Shane considered, a little shocked at the question, but eventually shook his head, "He'd feel you."

Drex's face furrowed slightly at that. "Would he? I could manipulate my sense to feel like yours."

Shane shook his head, "Ja' knows mine, for mine mirrors his. He feels every shift, as I do in him."

Drex sighed. He had been trying to think of a way to help but he didn't know what to do. The lack of options frustrated him.

"Perhaps we ought to turn in for the night," he said finally. "Maybe things will look better in the morning. I could help you to sleep," he suggested.

A soft sigh, "I would like that, Master." Maybe...maybe he could ask the ghost in his dreams.

"Come on then let's get back to bed," he said gently picking him up and carrying his mug to the sink where he emptied what was left of it.

Shane silently offered his to his master to empty out, oddly having touched little of it, while snuggling back into him,

Drex noted the chocolate had been little drunk and his heart twanged slightly, balking at throwing so much of it down the drain. "Are you sure you don't' want anymore?" It was a mute testament as to how upset over Ja'thernen Shane truly was.

Shane looked at him for a long moment, then at the mug, as if considering, so unsure. He shouldn't have pleasure, when his Ke' knew only pain.

Drex gave the boy five minutes and when it still had not been drunk he gave another sigh and gently took the cup from him to put it on the counter, not pouring it down the drain. It would reheat.

Shane accepted that, and buried his face against him again, sighing softly.

"Come on, let's get you to bed, Ne'," he said after a moment. He went to his room and then put him down on his bed. "Do you want to sleep here or in a nest tonight?"

It was a question asked automatically even though Shane usually chose to be with him.

"With you," Shane didn't care where he slept, so long as it was right next to his Master. He needed him desperately.

"All right," Drex soothed. "You can sleep right here next to me," he crawled in his bed and made himself comfortable. It was funny really. He never would have thought before that Shane would have been the type to curl up in bed at night needing comfort but he was very much like Ren in that respect.

Shane cuddled close to his side, one hand reaching to grip at him, tight, though gentle, as if hoping Drex would protect him through the night. It seemed at night, he still needed some manner of protection, when he rejected it during the day.

Drex wrapped an arm around him sensing what his boy wanted and gently nudged him with his mind. "Sleep well, little one. I'm right here beside you."

A soft, half purr, weak still from what troubled him, then Shane's eyes closed, that nudge lending him ease enough to finally rest a few more hours.

Drex settled into position beside him, his own eyes closing, hoping his boy would be free of visions the rest of the night.


	6. Chapter Five: Darkness Upon Us Creeps

**  
Chapter Five: Darkness Upon Us Creeps**  
_  
The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out." James Arthur Baldwin_

* * *

He feared he was sobbing.

Crushed fingers moved, struggled to catch on the stone beneath him, bleeding from where his nails had been ripped out, smearing crimson across obsidian stone, burned that way thousands of years before.

He wanted to get up, had to get up. Laying down meant defeat, meant surrender, meant death.

He wasn't ready to die yet.

And he would be cursed before he surrendered.

But he truly began to worry when he felt wetness on his cheeks. His breathing was beginning to quicken as well.

How long had he been in this cell, trapped with that monster watching him in the corner? The monster that bore his brother's face, that had his Nissan's laugh that was just as cruel as the flesh he had thought lost. Had hoped dead. Yet, obviously not.

Only Jer'en could be such a demon, to enjoy the torment he gave, and only Jer'en could make him bleed so.

It was all part of a lesson, or so the older had muttered once or twice. He had to learn.

He didn't know what it was he was supposed to learn. He didn't want to know it if he had to learn it this way.

Clawing again at the ground, he half made it to his knees and hands. His breaths were getting worse, more chocked.

He couldn't...

They had taken him by surprise, in his own territory. It had been night, half the gang had been settling to sleep, the other kept on watch. They were the best of the area, had defeated and destroyed any other that dared to cross their realm. Even the Elders had been growing to fear him, fear them, whatever warriors they sent meeting the same fate as all others that crossed them.

It had taken just Jer'en to destroy his entire gang, his whole family. Jer'en who had beaten him into the dust, and had slaughtered those he too had once called brothers and friends, leaving neither the older ones nor the young.

All had died, choked by invisible hands, bashed against broken rock and metal by forces unseen, ripped apart right before they ever touched the demon that had come upon them.

If he had known it was just him that they wanted, he would have gone to spare them the fates that had come. None of them had deserved to die as Jer'en had slaughtered them.

He had to honor them, had to...

Finally, he was almost there. One leg wouldn't support him, having been shattered. He was fairly sure it was the right, though; the left had been broken during the fight. He could still use it at least, just as he forced his hands to move though the left was crushed, by those same unholy powers his brother had been endowed with.

The same he himself was, but would not touch, for the very reason in front of him. His brother's madness showed him the price for power, and he preferred to stay sane.

He could feel his ribs moving, shifting as he tried to force his breathing to normal again. It would hurt too much to sob, and he wasn't about to give the monster the satisfaction.

* * *

It was about half past two in the morning, but still Drex was not asleep.

He was sitting in the living room of his apartment he shared with Ke'dran, a mug of caf in his hands, pouring over a datapad.

He was thinking over what the Council had said about Saren. The religious sects were building up strength; there was a new sector that worshipped Theron, the god that Shane so closely resembled. They feared a full-scale war, which would take over the entire planet, rather than just a part.

If that happened.. Ke'dran would be sent to Saren as an ambassador of the peace.

He did not want Ke'dran to go back to Saren.

He didn't mind going himself, and he didn't mind going with Shane...but Ke'dran...he feared for him.

Especially with something like this with no one else to go with him.

There was a soft noise behind him, before a gentle hand touched his shoulder, "One would expect you in bed, Master Rixar."

"One would. But I'm not," he glanced up at him with a tired sort of smile. "I have a lot to think about. And since when do you refer to me as Master Rixar?"

"When I care to," was the return, as Zephir settled beside him, "And whatever is keeping you up so late?"

Drex sobered a little. "Researching information about the religious sects on Saren," he said quietly.

"You could have just asked me," Zephir offered softly

"I wanted to see what other information was available if any," he said, in an even lower tone. "Zephir...if war breaks out…" He paused uncertainly trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He honestly didn't know. He was intensely worried for his friend. He was closer to him even than a brother and if something were to happen...he knew his heart could not bear another false report of him being dead, or even a true one.

Zephir lightly folded his long fingers, "I would be sent," he could guess at his thoughts, "It is not unexpected. It would save me the trouble of asking."

"I know. Forgive me if I sound childish or even selfish when I know what this planet means to you. I only remember the last time you went to Saren when war was on the verge of breaking out...and what happened..."

"I know," Zephir certainly couldn't forget it, "But there has been the other times since. And I have come back well each time."

"Yes but on those other times, the planet has not been on the verge of war, " Drex couldn't help but point out. "And I know you have. Forgive me. I should not have said anything."

Zephir lightly shook his head, hair swaying from where it had been set free for the evening, "Of course you should say something. I do appreciate your concern, Drex."

He glanced at Zephir's hair for a long moment, "But it is rather useless I suppose. Perhaps just my own fears from before displaying themselves again."

"They are valid fears, no matter how old," Zephir rebuffed, "I just have faith that I'll be able to help more this time, if needed."

Drex nodded slowly at that, "I don't happen to have much faith. It's not you I don't have faith in..." he hesitated for a long moment. "I'm not really sure what's bothering me," he admitted. "A lot of things are pulling at the same time. The war...choosing Shane as my official apprentice...Shane's worry over Ja'thernen back home..."

"Let me worry about the war," Zephir said softly, squeezing his hand, "You deal with your apprentice."

Drex grimaced slightly. "But if there's a full war at home, Ja'thernen could get caught up in it. He's already suffering enough. I talked to Shane last night about it. He told me he and Ja'thernen are bonded. Not like Kyran and Qui-Gon, but they do share one. He can feel his pain...and he's suffering intensely, but won't accept his help. I don't know what to do, " he confessed reluctantly. "I know how much Shane is worried over it. I would be to if I were in his position and it were you."

"I know. But unfortunately it may be too late," Zephir sighed, world weary for a moment, "They found evidence that the new order in the North has taken Ja'thernen. It is believed that he was because of his relationship by blood to the Kemra line."

Drex suddenly looked old and more tired than he ever had at the news. He rubbed his face with his hands. Dear Force. Shane would want to know this, but it would only add to his burden of guilt and helpless feeling. But he had sense enough to know that he could not keep it from him. Shane would never trust him if he did.

"I can tell Shane if you want," Zephir offered softly, "It's going to be a blow, but my informants haven't been able to gather anything else. They don't know what they do with those they take, at least not yet. And there's another bit of information, but this is for you alone right now. They managed to speak with one of the boys before he died, one of those from Ja'thernen's group. It seems the attacker resembled...Jer'en...He was one of the older ones, who had been with the gang since Te'renthe' had run it."

"But Jer'en's dead, Shane told me he killed him when he was four years old," Drex objected thinking Zephir's information was surely faulty at that.

"I know. Yet what the boy described as him was one that resembled Ja'thernen, and wielded the power to kill without touching. Many of those boys were left with wounds that mortal hands couldn't inflict."

Drex swore under his breath at that. "If he's got power like that the Council needs to be aware that there's a Dark Force user running rampant on Saren."

"They already are, I sent the report to Yoda just recently," Zephir assured, "But regardless, it would be hard to get to him."

Drex wondered if he would eventually be sent after Jer'en. He didn't want Shane to be there if he did. Shane would not take the news well, somehow he felt sure.

Zephir picked up his thoughts, "Right now, it is best he did not know about Jer'en. If this is he."

"What makes you say that?" He asked softly.

"If he knows that Jer'en might be alive, and involved, nothing will stop him from trying to return home."

Drex nodded unhappily. "He won't hear it from me. But what if he finds out some other way?"

"For now, we don't have to worry for that. The Council will be keeping a closed tab on that sort of information."

He looked grim. "The Council can do nothing if the Force were to tell him through a vision, Zephir."

"Then we can only confirm if he asks," was the dreaded return.

"We should have taken him with us...even though it would have been next to impossible to try to attempt, we still should have done something..." It would ease his apprentice's hurt if Ja'thernen had been here...

"We could not have. That child would have fought us to the death," Zephir stated grimly

Drex gave a tired sigh. "I know. I just know that Shane would feel better knowing he was close."

Zephir nodded, "I know. But we can only deal with the moment rather then the past."

"Yes," Drex said gravely, running a hand through his hair tiredly."I only hope Ja'thernen is strong enough to endure. If Ja'thernen dies... " He trailed off a little, not wanting to imagine Shane's reaction.

A nod, "Let us hope they do not kill him."

"The Force will be with him, in one way or another. We must have faith in that," Drex replied after a long moment.

* * *

The Council had forbidden it.

Shane was still trying to process that bit of information.

They could not go to Saren, because Saren was at war.

Shane had wanted to tell them it was at war when they had found him, had been at war thousands upon thousands of years before. But this was seemingly different.

New powers were stirring in the world, or so they had briefly touched on; a new religious order, one that would be especially dangerous to him if he went. They had based themselves in the old Kemra tower; untouched for centuries, not since Theron himself had slaughtered every being within, before setting it ablaze.

The religion worshiped that Theron. Not the god, but the Sith Lord himself.

Shane didn't care. Neither looks nor blood meant anything. His own safety meant little, even now.

Ja'thernen was screaming inside him. He could feel it with every tormented pulse of that bond, black with their energies tangled together, with all the hatred and anger that a being could possess.

And still, he couldn't touch him, those feelings sealing a wall of fire between them. He would not be allowed to cross; Ja'thernen would not let him aid him.

And inwardly, something in himself was darkening, a piece of his heart, his soul, for being denied by both the Council and his Ke'nite.

Te'mahte' had returned home with Kieran, to see to matters. Zephir was working from here, gathering information from his contacts. He had told Shane he would send word back to his informants to be on the watch for Ja'thernen.

The only news that had come, had been that the gang that Ja'thernen had been with, the one they had been raised together in, had all been killed in what had seemed a slaughter. Ja'thernen himself had not yet been found.

Stopping, he leaned against a tree, thoughts rampant on that bit of news. He hadn't really thought of them, in all that time. Hadn't wished to, being rejected from them after killing Jer'en. And especially after he had hurt and killed a fair few trying to save Kyran.

But he could still seem clearly in his mind's eye, those that he had known to be there, those that his brother had trained, that had taught him a few tricks of the trade in toddlerhood.

Dead. And Ja'thernen was captured, being tortured.

And he was denied from any attempt to give aid.

Growling, he turned, and smashed one fist into the wood. It hurt just the slightest, but not enough. Not nearly as much as the bitter ache within.

Again. Again. Again.

Every hit stronger, harder, crushing into the wood till he was leaving marks, on the tree and his fist. And still it never hurt enough.

He wasn't sure when the tears began leaking out, nor when the spot he hit started to be painted red. All he could focus on was making that frustration and agony real, making it physical. He could deal with physical things. He could ignore that pain.

A gentle hand touched his wrist, stopping him from another attack on the tree, a soft, feminine hand, and light pink in color. "You shouldn't hurt yourself so," the owner of the hand said quietly.

He glanced to her, red haze fading just a bit at her touch. He was breathing hard, almost gasping, to keep from sobbing though he cried. He ignored the tears, the pain, the way his blood was dripping to the grass between them, "What are you doing here, Nuri?" He hadn't seen much of her, since Ris had taken her as his apprentice, a few months back.

"Coming to see you. I heard about the Council. Master and I just returned this morning," she said.

He half glared, but didn't pull away from her, "What did you hear?"

"Just that they denied you. That's all I heard. Master Rixar told Master Ris when we arrived. He met us at the docking bay. I asked where you were," Nuri replied.

"Sorry I wasn't there," it was a half mutter. He wasn't about to explain the situation. Who could possibly understand it?

"What's bothering you so much?" The girl looked as if she wanted to wrap her arms around him, but she didn't know if such would be welcome.

He looked away from her, "It's..." It was impossible to explain, "There's a new war on Saren."

Nuri stared at him for a long moment before she finally wrapped her arms around him and drew him to her. She knew there was more to it than that, but right now Shane didn't need her to press. He needed her comfort. Maybe he would unburden himself if he felt safe...and comforted.

He tensed in her grip for a long moment, something coursing through him at her touch, before he finally half eased into it, familiar enough with her to let a small part of his guard down. He didn't want to hurt her,

She projected feelings of calming to him, hoping that he would be able to relax and find some feeling of peace. "Is there anything I can do to help?'

He vaguely shook his head, though he eased a bit more, "I don't think anyone can help."

"You've carried enough burdens. Why do you insist on hording your suffering to let no one help you?" she chided.

He looked away from her, "I horde nothing. I just prefer not to speak of it."

"You do. You horde it because you can't do anything to help the problem, so you suffer in silence as if that will help because you think you deserve the pain. When in reality all you really end up accomplishing is pushing away those who love you and want to help you."

He wanted to slip her grasp, get away from her, but didn't, "I'm not trying to push anyone away."

"Yet you want to get away from me. You're just restraining yourself," Nuri gave a small sigh. "I only want to help."

"I know, Nuri. But nothing can help right now," Nothing could stop the war, nothing could save Ja'thernen.

She looked up at him at that. "Even if I can't fix the problem, I'm still here."

"I know," he sighed a little, "I know you are."

"Then let me in?" she pleaded. "Please?" Her arms tightened almost possessively around him.

He still wouldn't meet her eyes, "I'm sorry, Nuri...I don't think anyone can understand this."

Tears formed in her eyes at that. "Not even your bondmates? They understand you better than even I do."

Shane looked mildly guilty for her tears. He had not wanted to hurt her... "It's not that, You and they... This place is all you know, all you've ever really known."

"Just because we have only lived in the Temple doesn't mean we're completely ignorant of how things are in the galaxy." She wanted to help so badly and he was slipping further and further out of her reach.

"That is not what I mean. But..." he sighed, biting his lip a little, "I have a friend still, on Saren. He's missing."

She studied his face for a long moment and then touched it gently. "He's very close to you isn't he? Almost as close as they are." There was a pause before she said, "I can't imagine what that must be like. The uncertainty...and helplessness...is that why you were so angry?"

He pressed slightly into her touch, eyes grave, and tired, "He's my ke'nite. We're practically brothers, if not closer. He was there at my birth, and we once sealed ourselves to the death...But now...I can't help him, and all those we grew up with are dead."

She did not know what to say to that, so she kept her silence, waiting to see if he would go on and further unburden himself like he needed to. She projected feelings of comfort.

Shane did not, merely sighing as he lightly nuzzled her fingers, closing his eyes briefly before opening them again, "I want to save him, but I abandoned him."

"By protecting Kyran? I think your friend understands why you did." She asked softly. "But if you could do it again, would you protect him or would you let them take him? You found where you truly belong... with your bondmates. Without Kyran, you would never have found them..."

"But I should have taken him with me," it was the same regret he knew Zephir at least carried, having overheard him once.

Her arms wrapped around him then, pulling him close to let him lean against her chest. "Hindsight is always twenty-twenty," she said softly. "It's hard to know in the heat of the moment what to do. The Force may yet find a way for him to make his way to you in ways you do not expect."

He sighed, closing his eyes again, "Perhaps, but I fear not." He couldn't help remember those dreams. His eyes opened once more, to block out the images.

"I hope for both of your sakes that the Force will see to it for the good of all its servants," she said softly.

Shane half smiled, though it was weak and a bit bitter, "Ja' is no one's servant, not even the Force's."

She wasn't sure what to say to that. "Then the Force will see to it that things work out whether he approves or not, I think."

Shane nodded, though had his doubts, "I hope so."

She began to stroke his wings gently in her embrace. "I know so. Have faith."

He relaxed more against her, the very softest of purrs working in his throat, "I'll try."

She smiled at that, seeing him relax a little more against her. "Maybe we ought to sit down instead of stand," she suggested, teasingly.

He made a half noise of non-caring. It didn't matter to him.

She sat on the ground, and propped up against a tree, pulling him with her. "Then why don't we sit instead?" she suggested.

He made another of those soft sounds, settling comfortably, "Sounds good."

"Why don't you just close your eyes and rest here with me?" She suggested softly. "I might could help you relax a little more?" she said, shyly.

Another of his little noises, and he almost sat up, "Would...would that be alright?"

She looked surprised. "Of course it's all right, I was the one who offered it," she pointed out.

He had to admit that, and settled again, against her, "I guess I could take a break with you..."

She looked pleased. "You will?" She began again to stroke his wings gently.

He purred faintly again, instinctively pressing close, "I will."

She smiled, feeling happy that he had accepted her help and that she had managed to get him to calm down. She hoped that she was right and that the Force would work things out for his friend Ja'. It had to.

* * *

The Heart of Darkness.

Theron had finally made his next move. Merrick should have expected it, had. But had not been able to protect the only neutral piece in this game. One couldn't move onto the other's territory after all. And Saren was most assuredly Theron's, as the Hidden City was his.

Theron had the shield, and now the gem to it. Merrick knew he would have to step up his own game, take control of further pawns on his own. And he knew where to get them. He would need to ensure that Theron's puppet group was watched, and he would have to make sure Zamir kept sight of the triad. Theron's shield needed to be watched, and he needed his songbird to start to work on his own sword.

Before the boy was ready. Claims had to be solid, before the heart was ready.

Sighing, he flexed boyish fingers, looking down to the hands he had touched and been touched by so many times. Delicate hands, gentle, loving hands.

He checked to make sure Zamir wasn't aware. He knew well his beloved hated being locked away, but it was for the best in some ways. He'd let him out soon.

He finally pushed the door open, to see those he wanted to see. He needed only to set things into motion.

Bantering, such light heartedness for being near a tomb. But Zamir hadn't picked these strays for their gloom, more for their brash, strong grasp of life. Something Zamir had plenty of himself, where Merrick knew his own grasp was weak.

Perhaps it was narcissism on Zamir's part, he could almost believe it, both were brown headed and green eyed, though the younger was a naga type, he couldn't rightly remember the species' name. A rarity, being seemingly half snake, and half human, but Zamir had always been able to find the rare ones.

He watched that long, black and green tail curl, and uncurl, worry, unnoted in his voice. He knew why they worried. Zamir had been with him for three days before he had finally taken over.

But then, they always seemed to think he was going to kill him. Surely they should have known better. He would do nothing to his songbird. He'd already ruin his Force gift enough.

It was then that they noticed him. Karchin was the one to turn in his direction first. "Merrick." No discussion of how he was...no, he knew he wasn't Zamir. He knew instantly.

An incline of the head, "Karchin," he glanced to the other dayling, who was hiding a glare, "Phaed. It's rather loyal of you, to stand in wait for your Master."

"We are loyal to the one who made us what we are," Karchin put in coolly.

"Of course," Merrick eased, "I am grateful really."

"Perhaps you ought to save your gratefulness and say what you wish of us, Merrick," Karchin was always the type who wanted to get straight to the point.

"Very well. I wish to ask of you two a favor. I know you are far from ignorant of the situation."

Phaed's glare wasn't easing despite his best attempt at 'hiding' it, "What is this 'favor'?"

"It's rather simple; I need a pair of eyes. One on the enemy, one to help Zamir in his work."

Karchin exchanged a glance with Phaed before he looked back at Merrick. "And why should we agree to your favor? This game will likely end up being the death of us and our Lord."

"It shall not," Merrick said calmly, not surprised by this, "Since you have no love nor loyalty to me, the enemy shall do nothing to you."

Karchin considered for a long moment. "Why should we help you?"

"Because you wish to help Zamir, and you don't trust me," Merrick returned.

"And who do you wish to go where?" Phaed put in, having given up trying to hide his glare.

"That, I'll let you figure out on your own. Though, considering Zamir's memories, I would say the older is more suited towards keeping watch on the enemy, and the younger to be kept near to Zamir."

Karchin's tail twitched even more than he had previously. "And why would you say that?"

"You understand the Jedi, you know how to cover for yourself if need be that you are revealed. Phaed is more suited to lurking, as was his past profession as a thief, he knows how to keep hidden and will stay so aided by a hundred more years worth of power then yourself."

Karchin had to admit he had a point but then his brow furrowed. "Rixar will sense me close by." Some part of him still wanted to crush the man's throat, but he dared not.

"Yet Zamir will ensure nothing happens to you," Merrick stated.

He let out a breath. "Under those circumstances...It is a possibility."

"I'll let you two consider it," Merrick offered, "You have time yet."

"How long?" Karchin asked.

"Three days. That's all I can give you," Merrick stated.

"Why such a short time?"

"Theron already has the pawn, and is even now shaping him as he pleases. Longer, and there would be no sense in sending anyone to watch."

Karchin nodded unhappily. Merrick's thoughts did make sense. It seemed to be they didn't have much choice. "Give us time to discuss it. We will have an answer soon."

"Of course," Merrick agreed, "I shall leave you to your thoughts then." He returned to the doors, pausing only once, before entering back into the burial chamber. He had things to think through himself.

As soon as he was gone, Karchin turned to Phaed, his tail swishing again. "You were quiet. What do you think?"

"I don't like it. But then I hate him to start with," Phaed stated.

"Yes, well your biased opinions aside, do you think that we should agree?" Karchin asked curiously, his tail curling behind him.

"That, I'm unsure about. I admit, our Lord needs watching over, especially with that demon in his skin."

"Agreed. My impulse is to accept it, however reluctantly. Zamir would wish us to help, even without Merrick's question," he pointed out.

Huffing, Phaed looked away, "I still greatly dislike it."

Karchin put a hand on his shoulder gently. "I know. But it seems we have little alternative but to displease our Lord, when he wakens, if we say no."

Lips pressing together, Phaed looked to him again, "You'll take the best of care with him."

"I will look after him for you," Karchin assured the older.

A half smile, though there was little mirth behind it, "I know you will."

"I will give Merrick our decision then," Karchin said softly as he squeezed Phaed's shoulder reassuringly.

It was a reassurance he did not feel himself, even as he moved to where Merrick was waiting. This game of destiny that Merrick was playing was a deadly one. He only hoped that they would not be the first casualties.


	7. Chapter Six: There Is Within

**Chapter Six****: There Is Within **

_God, why do I storm heaven for answers that are already in my heart? Every grace I need has already been given me. Oh, lead me to the Beyond within. Macrina Wieherkehr_

* * *

The archives were a perfect refuge.

One had access to thousands of years worth of information at one's fingertips. Material from all over the galaxy was housed here, making it the best library on all of Coruscant. It was here that nine-year-old Kyran found himself on a rainy afternoon, doing a bit of research for a class he was taking on ancient lore and history of the Jedi Order.

His gaze drifted to a bust near his study corral. The face was young looking, and the eyes appeared almost warm, even on the bust. The name below read "Merrick Tryphen." Kyran knew from his class, that he was one of the founders of the original Order. There was even a statue of him at the front of the Temple, along with his twin brother Jerric.

He turned his gaze back to his assignment and his fingers absently fiddled with the gem at his neck. He wondered if it was as old as Merrick. The one who had given it to him said it was ancient, but he had not seen Zamir since then, so could not ask.

He didn't know why his thoughts were drifting that way now. He shrugged slightly and continued working.

"You know, this bust really doesn't do him justice," was the comment from beside him. A glance would reveal Zamir, standing near the statue, fingers tracing over the jaw of the bust with familiarity.

Kyran glanced up in surprise. "Zamir!" he said happily, pleased to see him. It had been some time since they had last seen each other.

Those green eyes turned to him, brightening as they caught sight of him, and Zamir approached, pure grace in his every step, "It's been a long time, kidling. I'm glad you remember me."

Kyran touched the gem at his neck and beamed a little. "Can't forget."

Gentle fingers reached to touch his where they rested on gem, "I see you've kept it safe."

Kyran nodded at that. "Very safe."

A nod, and Zamir sat across from him, "You've certainly grown."

Kyran smiled. "Yep! I'm taller than Shane now!" He chirped.

A faint chuckle, "You are?" he knew well he was, but he couldn't let the boy know he had been watching.

"Not very much," Kyran added. "Just a little, but still some," he said. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in a long time," he said accusingly.

A slight, almost sad smile, "I have unfortunately been busy. I did wish to see you."

Kyran's curiosity was piqued. "What were you busy with?" he couldn't help but ask.

"I had a few missions, you might say."

"Really? Who's your Master, or are you a Knight?" He asked, his eyes bright.

"A Knight," in the very old sense of the word. If he counted the part of his soul that was Merrick.

Kyran nodded in understanding. "Then of course you're very busy," he said as if that settled things. "Knights are always busy serving the galaxy. I'm going to be one someday."

"So you are, and I imagine you shall be of the best," Zamir assured.

Kyran grew shy at that. "Why do you say that? I'm not as good as Shane in a lot of things."

"You are good at other things. You need not be good in what he is."

"I shouldn't? Why shouldn't I? We'll have to have a lot the same skills," Kyran protested.

"I meant that in some things, you will be the better, and in others, he shall be," Zamir clarified, faintly remembering having such concerns once, as a young child. But it was a faded thought.

"Maybe you're right," Kyran agreed. "So what are you doing here now? What are you studying for?"

Zamir glanced to the bust briefly, "I'm merely fulfilling a hobby. I've always been interested in ancient history."

"You said the bust didn't do him justice," he pointed to Merrick. "What did you mean? Have you studied him a lot?"

"You could say that," Zamir admitted, "I could almost say I might be the one that knows him best." Even when it was not at all.

"Really? How do you know him so well? He's been dead for a hundred thousand years," Kyran pointed out.

"I've studied much. Everything I could get my hands on," namely the man himself, but he couldn't say that.

Kyran seemed to sense that he wasn't telling everything. "But you talk as if you know him personally."

"I probably feel I do on some level, with all I know of him," Zamir explained.

Kyran shook his head and then he looked into Zamir's eyes. "It's different than that," he mused. He shrugged a little. He didn't know how he knew, but he did.

Zamir almost flinched as those eyes touched his, as if the boy were seeing straight into his soul. He was almost sure he was, unknowingly, "What if I were to tell you..." it came almost unbidden from his lips.

"If you were to tell me what?" Kyran stared up at him keenly, looking at his eyes again.

He was caught, and though the immortal willed to strangle his tongue, he spoke instead, "I have touched that distant god, thus why I know him so well."

Kyran looked surprised. "But how? He's dead."

"So he is," Zamir smiled faintly, sorrow marking his face, "But then, so am I."

Confusion, then. "I don't understand," the younger said, bewildered.

Finally managing to pull himself away from those eyes, Zamir touched the computer screen to the side of them, "Look up Crion, Zamiri, Prince of Telos, era seven thirty six of the Republic age, Sith War era."

It took only seconds, despite how old the information was. The holo was older still, during a time when paintings were still favored above the less art like holos. He remembered well, Divan had done it during his last visit... Of course, the picture was a boy of ten, but the resemblance was great enough. Under it, was a short history, ending with his death, or supposed death.

Unknown causes, presumed natural.

There had been nothing natural about it, but his family couldn't have admitted he had sold himself to the vampires to save them.

Kyran was staring from Zamiri on the holo to Zamir next to him. He didn't really know what to say. He had suspected something was different about him from the first time he had appeared, but he had never expected this. He fiddled with the gem around his neck before he glanced back at Zamir again. "Why did you give this to me?" he asked quietly. "It means more than I thought at first, doesn't it?"

"I wished to, it felt right to," a fragile smile, "It's my brother's lightsaber crystal."

"But you aren't a Jedi. Why did you lie and try to make it sound like you were? And why are you dressed like one of us now instead of how you used to be?" Kyran realized there was an even deeper connection to the answers. He wasn't quite sure he wanted the answers to his questions. He knew that they had to do with the bond he shared with Qui-Gon and Shane.

"I was ordered to, by the very 'god' I was telling you about," Zamir sighed, "We did not wish to make you uncomfortable, but it seems we have failed in that. For which I am sorry."

"I just want to know what's going on," Kyran said softly. His brow furrowed as he stared more keenly at Zamir. "You've been watching me this whole time, haven't you?"

Another nod, Zamir wished he could stop himself from confessing. Yet oddly, Merrick hadn't protested, "I have. I've been watching you all. Raven...Drex, and the Old One know."

"Why have you been watching us?" Kyran asked. "And why didn't Master Rixar say anything?"

"Because Drex trusts me. And as to why... You don't know yet how important you three are."

Kyran sighed. "I do on some level." He hesitated, biting his lip wondering if he should admit how much he knew. He knew about Shane's visions of the Temple's destruction...and one that Shane couldn't remember anything from but the lingering feeling of pure blissful emotions..."Shane's told me about his visions before," he said in a slightly small voice.

A nod, Zamir knew. All too well, Merrick had become particularly obsessed with one of those visions, "Then you understand, at least a little, why I have been sent to watch, and aid."

Kyran looked down at his study materials and nodded once. "So you're going to help us?"

"Yes. Namely you," Zamir admitted.

"Just me?" Kyran glanced up. He bit his lower lip; worry beginning to form at that statement.

"No, but you especially," was the assurance.

Relief was evident in his face at that. "Why am I so special? Why can't you help Shane more instead? He needs it now and I can't seem to help him much."

"He has his own aid," though it made Zamir sick to know who, "But you are the one Merrick has his eyes on. He sees you'll be a driving force towards change."

"Me?" Kyran squeaked slightly at that. "But why me? Why doesn't Merrick come talk to me himself?" his face flushed a little as he realized how ridiculous that would sound to anyone in the archives who happened to overhear. He glanced around nervously, hoping there was no one else around.

Zamir looked only a little grave, "Is that what you wish? As to why you, you have yet to realize the power you have over others. Yours is a unique gift all to its own."

"Merrick could talk to me?" Kyran wasn't sure he wanted him to...he did a little. He was awed at the prospect even of meeting one of the founders of the Order. At least his paper would be better than anyone else's in the class. He tilted his head curiously at that. "I don't have any special power. Shane has a special power and Qui-Gon I think is showing signs of some, but I never have had anything different than just being normal," he felt compelled to say.

"You have yet to realize yours," Zamir stated, reaching across to caress his cheek, "You are the way to unlocking souls and hearts, just as your eldest is for unlocking time, and your youngest for unlocking life itself."

Kyran looked down. "If I can unlock hearts then why can't I help Shane? He won't tell me what's wrong."

"He is of yourself. I imagine you are a bit immune to each other," or so Zamir could only guess at.

He glanced away. "Oh." The theory made perfect sense. "But I haven't been able to do anything unusual like they have though. How do you unlock souls and hearts anyway? How can you tell when one is unlocked?"

"You have, but I don't think you've noticed it. Surely you've seen how you gather those around you, how others ease within your presence, how a touch helps those who hurt within. You need only look to your future Master."

Kyran was very quiet at that. "You mean I'm doing some good for him?" He knew that Master Zephir had bad memories in his past, but not specifically what. "I have noticed I always have some...but that didn't really start until Shane came to the Temple. I had always thought it was him. I was by myself some when I was little. Only had one or two friends." He began to be slightly happier. If he could draw people ...and could help his master...that was a good thing, wasn't it?

"It seems you amplify each other's abilities. That's probably why it didn't truly function until after," Zamir explained.

Kyran considered and then he nodded. "That makes sense. But what do you mean when you say look to my Master? There's nothing wrong with him. He's always loving and gentle to me. I mean, I know he has bad things in his past, I mean..." he trailed off trying to figure out exactly what he was trying to say. He wanted to know how to tell if he was doing any good for his Master. He had always thought that he knew his teacher well enough. It was becoming apparent that he did not know him as well as he'd thought originally.

"How do you know he has bad things in his past?" Zamir questioned patiently.

"He told me on the trip to Saren. He and Master Rixar have dark memories. I figured it had to be something bad," he explained.

A slight nod, "Your Master used to be more sorrowed, before he met you. Perhaps that is why you can't tell the difference, you had an instant impact upon him."

Kyran rubbed the back of his neck absently. "Really? You think so? "

A nod, "You did the same with your bondmate when you met him," this was from Merrick, who he felt stirring at the back of his mind.

Kyran drew in a sharp breath at the change of voice, noting the difference automatically. "Merrick," he said, not knowing how he knew, but he knew. He was almost afraid of the other. He was so well known in Jedi history and lore...

A knowing smile, as blue circulated into those brilliant green eyes, "No need for such feelings, child, I am merely a being, and was much like you once."

Kyran shook his head. "Mere beings aren't around one hundred thousand years after they die," he pointed out.

"Those who trade their lives for immortality are still not much different from those that are brave enough to stay mortal."

Kyran didn't really know what to say to that. He bit his lip, trying to come up with something to talk about. He glanced down at his notes as if hoping they would help him. Zamir was much different than Merrick, even when it appeared they somehow shared one body.

Folding slender hands, Merrick studied him for a long moment, "I am merely borrowing for a brief while. My own body is recovering."

"Recovering?" He didn't want to pry, but he was curious as to his choice of words.

"There are those of the immortal kind, that suffer illness over time. It is more of the mind, then the body, and we have need of sleep and recovery, several thousand years worth, to recover from it."

Kyran grimaced a little. "I'm sorry," he said softly. He touched him, offering his sympathies, almost without thought.

Merrick smiled faintly, but warmly at that, laying a hand over the boy's, "Thank you, child. I shall be well soon enough."

A sudden thought occurred to him and his free hand touched his gem before he said, "What about Zamir? He won't get the illness being immortal will he?"

A slight shake of the head, "Zamir has too much life to be struck with the illness. He is of the few that will endure till the end of time."

The thought made Kyran smile. "Good. He's nice, I like him."

Amusement played in those old eyes, "As do I."

Kyran fiddled with the gem around his neck. "We were just talking about the gem he gave me and his missions and things." He wasn't sure how much Merrick was aware of in sharing a body with Zamir. It was such a foreign concept on some level, but on another, he could easily see himself doing it with Qui-Gon or Shane.

"I know. You have quite a talent, little one, to unseal even immortal lips," Merrick said.

Kyran blinked for a moment. "I didn't unseal him. He came to talk to me," he objected.

An indulgent smile, "We were not intending to tell you all that much this time around."

It dawned on Kyran what he meant. "You weren't?"

A nod, "But it seems you were more then ready to hear it."

Kyran considered and then his brow furrowed. "Merrick," he said uncertainly. "What if we don't succeed? Shane's visions will come true won't they?" he said in a small voice.

A grave look came over those eyes, "Yes, they will if you do not."

He wrapped his robes tighter around himself, seeming to try and sink into the chair. "I'm scared. I don't want to fail..."

Sympathy flickered in those eyes, "I know, and that's why the Force has allowed me this life, to help you not to fail."

Kyran looked up at that, some hope flickering in his eyes. "You're going to help us?"

A slight nod, "Yes, I am. As long as you trust me to do so."

Kyran blinked at that. "Why wouldn't I trust you?" He glanced at his notes. "All Jedi can be trusted can't they?"

"True Jedi, yes," Merrick chose not to explain that, "You truly are a unique person, Kyran."

"Everybody is unique," the boy pointed out. "Nobody is the same. If they were the galaxy would be a very boring place."

Merrick gave a good-natured chuckle, "Of course. I merely mean a bit more than normally."

"Why do you say that?" He closed his study material. It was obvious he wasn't going to be doing much more work on it, at least not now.

"Because you're still so innocent, which is a very rare thing. Among other things."

"Is that a good thing though?" Kyran asked anxiously.

A nod, "Of course it is."

He was relieved at that. Kyran glanced at Merrick for a long moment, trying to think of what to say. He wanted to ask what was wrong with Shane, but somehow, he felt the other wouldn't tell him.

Merrick watched him in turn, "Is there something else, child?"

"Do you know what's bothering Shane?" he asked softly. "And Master Rixar? There's so much worry and hurt in the apartment, I can feel it. It's almost tangible. Nobody else seems to notice really. Is it my ability that makes me notice?"

Merrick seemed to consider things for a moment; "A new type of war has broken out on Saren, due to the enemy."

Kyran's face paled a little. "And who's the enemy?"

"That... for now must remain unknown. You are unready for him, little one, but do not worry, he will not touch you," Merrick assured.

"But Shane...he's affecting him if he's causing war on Saren isn't he?"

"I cannot control what the enemy does that is not direct," Merrick said regretfully

His face fell some at that. "Oh. I guess I still don't understand everything then."

"As you are not meant to," the immortal soothed, "Even I don't yet."

"Recognizing your ignorance is the first step to wisdom," Kyran carefully recited Master Yoda's words.

A nod, a chuckle, "My Master used to say that often."

"All Masters say that I think," Kyran said nodding solemnly.

Another careful nod, and glance to the side, "I fear it's time we return to our silent watch, child. We cannot stay out in the open forever. Is there anything else you wish to discuss?"

"How will I be able to call you if I need you?" Kyran asked. "I will be able to won't I? And this gem of Zamir's...do you know why he gave it to me? He said it felt right...but I think there's more than that."

Merrick looked to the gem, eyes darkening briefly, "The Jedi who wielded that blade, was of the greatest Jedi, one of the last true ones, though he is herald now as a mad man. I know not what Zamir's purpose is, though perhaps it is his hope that you will be just as great. As for how to call, just say my name, or his, and we will be near."

Kyran nodded at that. "Okay," he said softly. "How come you're only silently watching?"

"Because for now, that's what the Force wishes," Merrick answered.

That made sense to him. One could not do what the Force did not wish. "Okay." Kyran didn't know how to say good-bye to him. He didn't really want to, even if he understood.

A smile, and a gentle hand reached to touch his hair, "Know I'm here, child. I'm only leaving your sight," with that, he was gone.

Kyran was left alone with his thoughts as Merrick vanished and the gentle pitter-patter of rain against the window in the archives. It seemed their destiny was on the move. He only hoped that they didn't fail. But Merrick would help them. They wouldn't fail with the legendary Jedi Master helping them. Merrick would not let Shane's vision come true. He felt certain of it.

* * *

It was rare for Ke'dran to dream.

He'd long ago learned to filter through memories and emotions, how to ignore or just forget random images. His mind had been so finely tuned as a youth that few things could disturb it at rest, at least from the inside.

But there were times, vague, wonderful, and horrible times, when he did truly dream. When he felt her beside him, warm and breathing, when he could hear her whispering in his ear, laughing softly as she so rarely had. He could watch those brilliant, aged eyes of glass like blue shift with a thousand emotions and thoughts. And he could look down, to find greenish gray eyes, like his own, staring up at him adoringly, while little arms strained to reach him. He'd pick that little one up, while she smiled lovingly at them both. He'd hold his daughter, a bundle of pure energy and sweet life, all of it he had never been able to see, as she had never had the chance to be born.

This was one of those times, and he tried to hold onto it as long as possible. But it was always never enough. Could never be, before it slipped his grasp again, they faded from him, and he was awake to the bitter realization that he could not have what would forever haunt him.

There was a soft knock at the door. A timid, worried sounding voice called through the darkness. "Master?"

Sitting up, Zephir schooled his features, as he motioned the lights on low, "Yes, Kyran? Come in."

Kyran hesitated even as he stepped into the room. It really wasn't his place to pry, but Merrick had said he could help his teacher. He had felt his disappointment and hurt. Even now it was thick in the room, but his teacher was doing his best to act normally. He didn't know why he never noticed before. His master was always just like this. How deep of a hurt was he hiding? Was he always hiding it? He padded forward to the edge of Zephir's bed, but didn't climb to get in just yet. He merely stood there for a long moment in the dim light, looking at him, in his eyes.

Zephir looked back at him, concern and worry playing across gray orbs, as he moved a bit, offering his bed, "Come here, little one. What's wrong?"

Kyran crawled up into his bed and curled up close to him. "Felt you hurt. You're so sad. Wanted to help you..."

Refusing to start, Zephir checked his shields. Usually, not even Drex knew when he had those little breaks... They seemed solid... Perhaps it had just slipped... "I'm fine," he assured, gently wrapping his arms around the little one.

"No you're not. Why won't you let me help?" He leaned against Zephir's chest, listening to his heartbeat. "It wasn't your shields that faltered. I felt you...here," he put a hand on Zephir's chest. "I can hear your soul crying."

Zephir felt something within himself shift, turning as he gently laid a hand over that hand, "Old wounds, child, nothing more."

Kyran was quiet for a long time before he said, "You're not going to let me help," he said sadly, knowingly. He could tell that his master did not want to open up. "You keep trying to hide." He blinked up at him in the dim light. "I want to help. You don't have to hide from me."

Zephir's hand tightened around his a little, he started to say something, but it choked in his throat, and he oddly found he couldn't speak. Something pressed against the back of his eyes, and he struggled not to give in.

"I want to know the real you, Master. You don't have to keep hiding. Just let me in. Please?" Kyran was practically pleading with his Master to be let in.

The pressure hurt enough to make him close his eyes, and even then, a few trickles of tears slipped free, "I am as real as I will ever be, Kyran."

"Are you really?" he asked softly.

A nod, and the Master strove to control himself, opening his eyes again, "I am sorry for that."

Kyran bit his lower lip. For all his sensitivity he still didn't quite know how to read it. "That's all right," he said quietly. He didn't know what to say really. He glanced up at him. "Would you like to talk about what made you cry?" He asked timidly.

One hand reached up to touch those tears, and almost wiped them away. He should not have let the little one see him so weak. Yet, he had never shed tears before...it was such an odd thing.

Kyran reached up to touch the tears also. He wiped one away from his Master's cheek. "It's all right to cry, Master. I cry sometimes. You always tell me it's okay."

A fragile, tired smile, "It is. But I suppose I don't follow my own teachings."

"Well you should. They're good teachings and you ought to follow them," Kyran said nodding firmly.

A bit more of a smile and Zephir lightly embraced him again, "So they are."

Kyran made a soft noise of pleasure as his master hugged him a bit more. "Want me to stay with you, Master?"

Zephir nodded, "I would dearly appreciate that, Kyran."

Kyran's face brightened a little. "You would?" He would keep his Master's dreams at bay. At the very least he could provide comfort.

"Yes," Zephir assured, holding him a bit closer.

"Well I will stay with you then. Are you sure you don't want to talk about what's bothering you, Master? " He asked softly. "You always say it's better to talk."

A soft, pained look crept into the Master's eyes, "I merely miss someone dearly, that I can never have back."

Sympathy was in Kyran's eyes, as he pressed closer. "I'm sorry."

A slight squeeze, "I am as well, child."

"Is there anything I can do to make it better?" he asked.

"Just be here," Zephir assured, "That's all I need." He needed a reminder of what he had now.

"I'll always be here, Master," he said reassuringly. "Always."

Zephir held him closer, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Are you going to try and sleep again?" Kyran asked, a pleased smile on his face.

A nod, "And you should as well."

He yawned and stretched even as he nodded. "I'm still sleepy."

"Then rest well, Kyran," Zephir soothed, touching his mind just lightly.

"You too, master," he said pressing closer to him, putting one arm around his Master's waist, and protecting him even in sleep as his eyes closed.

Holding him close, Zephir watched him as he slept, while the feelings of pain seemed to ease with every little breath the boy made. Marveling at that, he gently caressed his hair, and settled to sleep himself.

* * *

Kyran sat in the gardens listening to the gentle gurgle of the lake as it lapped against the shore he sat on at their favorite spot. It was a perfect sunny afternoon and clouds drifted lazily by on the glow panels overhead that were designed to simulate the outside environment, complete with clouds and a "breeze" to help the various animals that roamed the gardens feel at home in a more natural environment.

He loved this part of the gardens. He loved all of the gardens and the Room of 1000 Fountains. They were some of his favorite places in the entire Temple. It was so peaceful and soothing, perfect for meditation, relaxing.

His datapad was open and his project about Merrick Tryphen was pulled up on the screen, but he wasn't working. His mind was focused more on his meeting with Zamir and Merrick the day before and what he had learned. They had told him he had a special gift. He had never thought of such a thing. He had always been the least abnormal of each of his bondmates and had been slightly jealous of them because he was such. He had been brought up in the Temple since he was six months old. No one had been awaiting him at his arrival, no one special fetched him, he showed no obvious talents like academic achievement or Sight, that Shane had, or healing like Qui-Gon was beginning to demonstrate, but he had something just as important all the same.

He could unlock souls.

In some ways, that was even more important than any physical ability. He had the power to draw more out of people than they normally would give. He had seen evidence of his gift the previous night. Last night he had heard his Master's soul cry. He knew this was not the first time that soul had cried, but had not heard it until now. It was as if Merrick's pointing out his ability made him able to hear it more clearly and recognize it for what it was, rather than the thought of comforting someone being just a good thought to have.

His Master had accepted his comfort and Kyran had felt it then.

The raw hole in his Master's heart had begun to close.

It hadn't closed a large amount, the barest fraction of an amount was all it had been, but he knew it was the start of something much larger. The Jedi Order could not change if its people did not change. For that was what the Order was made of.

Just people.

They had to show these people how to love again and convince them that they should change their traditions that banned any and all attachments. A difficult task indeed. He was grateful that the Force had not placed the burden of change on one Jedi alone, but had divided the tasks among them. He knew that he was much stronger with his bondmates than he would have been alone without them.

He fiddled with the gem around his neck. Kyran was very grateful they would have guardians and wise counsel to help them in their journey. The consequences for failure were so horrific that he couldn't help but be afraid at the enormity of the task ahead. The dust and ashes he knew Shane had seen in his visions…they could become real if they failed, but Kyran refused to believe that that future was set in stone. He knew his bondmate had always had visions that became true, but…but he felt sure that this could not be even then. The Force would not grant them a task they were doomed to fail at.

Would it?

He closed his eyes and drew upon the Force to chase away the fear and doubt. The Force that bonded them would guide them to success. He had to have faith in it. The future was always in motion. With Merrick and Zamir's help, it would be even easier to succeed, he was sure.

He knew they were watching him now and he wondered where they were standing.

Almost as if he could feel where they were, he smiled shyly and waved.


	8. Chapter Seven: Perchance To See

**Chapter Seven: Perchance To See**

_The future is called "perhaps," which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you. Tennessee Williams, Orpheus Descending, 1957_

* * *

He was ready for the knock when it came. Drex quietly padded to the door, dressed in his sleep pants and a robe belted on. He palmed the door. There was no one there. He hadn't expected anyone, but the package had been delivered the same as always. His throat grew tight as he picked up the box and carried it inside. He wasn't going to open it out in the hall.

He ignored Zephir's sympathetic glance in his direction as he placed the box on the table to see what had been sent this year.

He opened the box and the acrid, familiar scent of preservatives hit his nostrils. When he saw what was inside, his throat tightened to the point of it being almost difficult to get air.

Ren's heart.

The last piece.

Lone had always said that would be the last. The last thing he would ever bury of his beloved padawan would be the heart. The heart that had loved him with all of its might, the heart that had pumped his blood to keep him alive...and the heart that had failed him in the end and stopped pumping...

Zephir let him be for a while, a moment, before he approached, to lightly place his hand on his shoulder, keeping silent, but letting him know he was there.

Drex said nothing for a long moment. Eventually however, his tongue managed to get unstuck from the roof of his mouth and he said, "Zephir...I think I'll spend today alone, if you don't mind."

Zephir's hand tightened on his shoulder, "Are you sure?" He was reluctant to leave him alone.

He gave a small nod. "This time...I...I just need to say my final goodbye," he whispered.

An understanding look, a lighter squeeze, "I'll be here, when you need me."

"I know," he said softly. "Tell Shane I just needed some time to myself. You can tell him why if he asks."

A nod, and Zephir withdrew, "I'll tell him now, most likely he's on his way." Shane had come every year.

"He is," Drex could feel him, pressing, but he couldn't reach back. Not now. He would later. This time he needed to do this alone. "I'll give you time to head him off before I...before I go."

Another of his nods, and Zephir grabbed his robe as he walked out the door to do so.

Drex built the pyre carefully and glanced at the box he had set aside. He closed his eyes once tightly, and after picking the box up once more, clutched it in his arms. He didn't want to burn this. He didn't want to. To do this would be the final time. He wasn't sure whether he hated Lone more for drawing it out or not. In some ways...he was able to cling to Ren more through him drawing it out, but Ren was dead. Clinging to what remained of him was not going to bring him back.

Very slowly he took the heart out of the box and placed it on the pyre. His own heart felt about as still as the one he was about to burn. He took the torch to set fire to the pyre, but as he brought the fire closer, he wasn't sure he could do it. His arm began to tremble.

Cold fingers, as chill as death, touched his wrist, stopping him, yet steadying him. Green eyes looked up to him, as pained as he felt, bleeding though the other never shed a tear. "Not yet, Raven."

He moved away in surprise, nearly dropping the torch at the touch. "Zamir," he said softly. "What are you doing here?" he asked in a strained voice.

A sad look, near hopeless, as the vampire glanced to the heart, "I wanted to say goodbye."

The Master clung tightly to the torch in his hands, the wood if it, digging into his palms hard enough to make blood come. "I..." he looked at him helplessly, unsure of what to say. "All right."

Drex didn't want to say goodbye. He wasn't sure he could. To say goodbye would mean Ren would truly be gone.

Seeing the blood, Zamir very lightly, but insistently took the torch from him. Setting it in its place near the pyre, he then reached back, to grasp Drex's wrist. Soft lips touched his palm, tasting the blood, soothing the pain for a moment.

Finishing cleaning the blood from him, he then moved to kneel, eyes set upon that fateful last piece, "I never told you how sorry I was, to leave you knowing the burden you had to bear. Nor did I ever confess how much I loved you, and still do. I hate that I could not step into the path of destiny again. Had I been able to..." his hands trembled as he touched the stone by his knees to support himself, and bowed his head, "Rest well, my dearest of loves. You are engraved in me, and so immortal as I am. I will bear your memory till all is to dust, and even after that, though I will never be able to join you. May your wings shine, my Dovling, my Lovling. I thank you most, for what you gave to me, who did not even remember his soul when first he met you. You gave me a soul again, and a heart, which I will never lose again."

Drex found his heart squeezing in his chest at the words. How could he have held Zamir accountable for leaving Ren to die? It had not been his fault. He had blamed him for the actions of another...even though now he knew that Ren had known he was going to die. Then the rest of what he said registered. Ren had told Zamir about the visions. But he had said nothing to him...he glanced away at that. He thought he knew why but Zamir could confirm his reasoning. "Zamir...you knew?"

Zamir tensed slightly, and nodded, never looking to him, "I did. He told me the night I left."

"Why...did you not tell me?" His voice tightened. "Did he not tell me? You never even said goodbye to me."

"I could not," Zamir sighed, "He asked me not to tell you, and I had no wish to bid farewell. I have done so, so many times in my life, that I have grown to hate them, because for me, it means I shall never see that person again. I wanted the hope that I would see you both again," he paused to gather himself, "Ren felt it best, that you didn't know, you would have tried to stop it."

Drex's reasons were confirmed. Ren had known he would have done anything he could to save him...thus prevented him from doing so, by keeping it from him. He could only know that Ren had made the choice he felt was right. He glanced to the heart lying still on the unlit pyre.

"You were right you know," he said softly, speaking to it. "I would have tried to stop it then. Even though now I understand why, I'm not sure I could let you go. But you were always about sacrifice, comfort and healing. I…I only…I wish I could see it again, just once more. " He felt his throat closing. He wasn't sure he was going to make it without breaking down. Tears were beginning to burn the backs of his eyes. "But perhaps that it is better that I do not and that I have the memory of such Light and Love to sustain me. I will remember always what you have sacrificed for them...for me...for all of us, you were the first." His voice shook threatening to crack completely. "May the Force be with you, my young padawan, rest in peace. We won't fail you." He touched the heart with his palm and finally felt the tears fall.

Zamir stood, and gently touched his shoulder, in support, as he let him have his moment.

After a long moment he pulled away and reached again for the torch, at last setting fire to what was left. He stood back as the flames began to burn, consuming what was left of his beloved apprentice. He took a deep breath as he watched in silence.

Zamir watched with him, tears finally trickling from his eyes, blood stains that trailed down death white skin, to drip among the cold stones.

As the flames rose higher, Drex found himself thinking of the triad that Ren had died to protect. He would love Shane as he had loved Ren, for Ren had known that love was the Key to the Order's survival. He and Ren had been the precursors, but now the times were changing hands.

He glanced at Zamir.

Zamir had told him his duty was to protect and watch over the triad. He knew he had things in his heart that he had to atone for, which had been between him and Zamir since Ren's death. With the past now truly dying, it was time to put all things in their places. "Zamir?"

Zamir looked to him, eyes so dark and somber, a little drenched in the blood he shed in sorrow, "Yes, Drex?"

"Forgive me." He had to swallow several times before he could speak. "When I saw you after Ren had died, I lashed out. My anger and hurt had found a target. I'm so sorry for everything. Ren would not have wanted it."

Zamir's eyes softened, and his hand lightly squeezed, "I never kept that against you. I knew well your pain and grief, I bore them as well. You have no need to be sorry."

"No, there is a great need. I said terrible things. You happened to be the only one I felt who could have done something...I did not understand then." He trembled a little, his mind back to those dark days. "The pain never went away. It only lessened slightly over time. I should perhaps have healed more easily if I had had your comfort and allowed myself to know rather than accuse."

Zamir sighed a little, and moved, to slip Drex's arm over him, so he could press into his side, "That is all past. We cannot change such, only move forward. You are healing now, or you would not have understood."

"Yes," he said softly, allowing Zamir to embrace him. The flames were now beginning to die down, becoming nothing more than glowing embers. "It still hurts there, though. I know it always will, but the worst is past. There is too much to do in the future for me to cling to what is gone, no matter how much I might wish to," he said huskily.

"Yes," Zamir cuddled more into him; voice muffled a bit, "We must move towards the future, though the past is ever calling."

"I will help you through the future, Zamir, if you will do the same for me," his voice was low at that. The embers had now totally gone out and they were standing there in the dark of the funeral pyre. It made his heart quiver in fear and anticipation. The eeriness of the silence, the Darkness, Shane's visions came to his mind of the destruction of the Temple. He licked his lips a little, to pull himself out of his thoughts. His children would not fail. Ren would not have died for a lost cause.

"Always," Zamir assured, looking up to him in the dark, feeling his fear vaguely. Knowing the thoughts on his mind, he laid his head against his chest, looking once more to the pyre, and began to sing the song he had given to Ren so long ago. It would be the last time he sang it.

With all its hope, its love, its sorrow.

Drex clung to him as he began to sing, the words comforting his heart. The song was soothing to his soul, easing the fear, giving him hope and courage. The Force would be with them and guide them in their journey. He had faith in it. It was time to listen to its Will and embrace the future.

* * *

Shane sat quietly; chin resting on his hands, as he looked out across Coruscant, from his vantage point on top of the rail of the balcony. They had just finished evening meal, their first together as a sort of family.

They had finally been chosen that day. Silently, he touched the braid trailing down his shoulder, eyes thoughtful. He was finally Rixar's Padawan, but he felt no different. Really, the only thing that had changed was that he was a bit more separate from his bondmates, would have to spend more time alone, than together. But... as long as he could feel them within, distance didn't matter at all.

He paused in his thoughts, as faintly, he heard the sound of wings above. Blinking, he looked up, spotting the cause. Swiftly, he abandoned his place, leaping down from the rail to bow as Te'mahte landed.

"Me'telnen," she said softly, folding her wings as she landed in front of him. "I was hoping to see you."

He gave her a curious look, 'As pleased as I am with that, I'sa, why?' he felt it best to address her in his mother tongue.

'It has been some time since I have. Much has changed, I see,' she said seeing the new braid behind the boy's right ear.

He nodded, touching his braid once more, 'Much has,' he agreed.

She reached up to grasp it. 'You've come so far,' she said softly, 'from the scared child I remember.'

A slight smile, the vaguest blush, 'Thank you, I'sa.'

She smiled at the blush on his cheeks and pulled his braid just slightly, before she let go. 'I bring news from Saren. I'm not sure how easy it will be for you to hear it.' She took a breath, glancing at him. 'I have come to warn you. The religious sect on Saren that has been growing stronger has discovered that there are those of the Kemra house still alive. Their informants have told them about your status as a Jedi. You must be very careful for they have reach even beyond Saren's borders.'

Shane looked shocked at that, "But how... we've been careful all this time..."

She smiled gently, sadly. 'I know. But sometimes things happen we do not expect.' She studied him pausing for a long moment. 'Me'telnen, my sources tell me that your brother may still be alive."

Something undefined crossed over Shane's face. A mix of horror, shock, pain, and so much more, before he shook his head, 'My brother is dead.'

'My information came from those who deal with the underground slave trade,' she said slowly. 'I think you would be unwise to dismiss it out of hand.'

Looking away from her, Shane shook his head again, 'He's dead. Has been. They're wrong.'

Her hand gently went to his cheek, 'I know how hard it must be for you to hear this, but search in your heart. Are you dismissing because you'd feel torn in two if he were alive, or do you truly believe?'

He forced himself not to flinch from her touch, though he trembled, 'It is what I wish to believe, for his sake.'

She finally nodded and pulled away. 'I merely wished to give you the information.'

He nodded, and struggled to breath normally again, "How would they know anyways..."

'Some of my spies are among your former gang members who would have recognized Te'renthe' if they saw him,' she said gently before she paused for a long moment.

'One of them is Chai'mek, isn't it?' he had a feeling. The other boy had been older then his brother, one of the 'old ones' that had left soon after Te'renthe's capture. The other had gone to find a way to track down those that had taken him...

She nodded. 'Yes. He is one of them. He came to the Twin Temple not long after Te'renthe' disappeared, looking for a way to get him back. So I used my position to plant him well where I could receive reports and keep an eye on things.'

Shane accepted that. It made sense; Chai'mek had always been one of the smarter ones. If anyone could have done it...

She lightly squeezed one of his shoulders. 'Is your Master and Ke'dran home?'

They both are," Shane stated.

She nodded. 'I would like to share this with them as well. Why don't we go inside? It's a little chilly out here.'

Shane nodded once, and moved to open the door for her, thoughts too heavily caught up in himself to really think outside. His brother... He didn't want to believe, yet...If it was possible...

It would be best not to completely reject it, even if he couldn't accept it.

* * *

Kyran was laying staring at the ceiling. He was on his back, trying to fall asleep. He'd tried counting banthas, but when he had gotten to 5,992, he had given up. He had tried meditating, but his mind was too buzzed with what had happened that day. That day, he had been chosen. That day, he had moved out of the crèche permanently and taken up residence with his new Master and Master Rixar and Shane. They were sharing quarters. He had his own room and Shane had his own room. The two Masters had their own and they were connected by a fresher just as Kyran and Shane were.

His own things decorated the walls. He had tried to hang up as many models as he could. He didn't like seeing the bare empty white nothing of plain walls. The desk in the corner had his datapad and homework assignments on it. The bed, however, was too soft to get used to after so many years sleeping with Shane and Qui-Gon in a nest on the floor of the crèche. It wasn't just that it was too soft it was also too lonely.

Soft fingers touched his side, as a body seemed to settle behind him, "Is something wrong, little one?" Zamir's voice whispered in his ear.

"Can't sleep," he turned over to try and find a more comfortable position. "I'm used to someone being in a bed with me if I'm not in a nest," he said with a sigh.

"Well, you have someone now," Zamir assured, adjusting with him, laying his arm over him.

Kyran moved closer to him and cuddled under his blankets. "I don't think I really like having my own room," he confessed after a moment. "Too much space and I don't know what to do with it. And too lonely."

"You'll grow use to it," Zamir soothed, holding him a little tighter, "In time, you'll realize that you're never alone, and thus will never be lonely."

"Everything always takes time," Kyran said, frowning slightly. "I wish it didn't."

"You'll wish later that it took more time," Zamir said knowingly.

Kyran made a face. "All adults say that. I haven't wished for it yet."

"You're young, very. I remember thinking the same," a half sigh, a nuzzle to his cheek.

Kyran smiled as Zamir nuzzled his cheek. He liked having the other close. It made the silence less dominant. "I met Merrick," he said, his eyes brightening a little. He wasn't sure what Zamir knew or didn't know about sharing his body. It was still strange to him.

"I know," Zamir stated lightly, smiling against his skin, "I was watching."

He blushed. "I wasn't sure if you were or not."

"Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. It depends on what Merrick wills," was the confession, almost too soft to hear.

"What do you mean?" he asked, hearing him. "So he only lets you see some things and not some others? Why would he hide things?"

Another little sigh, "It is Merrick's will. There are some things I just do not need to know."

He shook his head. "That's not how it should work. Especially if he's sharing your body."

A soft look, a softer smile, "Thank you, but really, this body is just as much his as it is mine."

"Oh," He didn't really understand, but he still didn't approve. "I don't keep anything from Shane," he objected.

"That's because you are of one soul, rather then just at heart," Zamir admitted, nuzzling his cheek again, "And you're one of the pure ones."

He was quiet for a long moment before he said, "Well I guess I have kept one secret."

A curious look, though Zamir had a thought as to what it was.

"I haven't told him about you and Merrick yet," he admitted.

"A wise thing, I don't think they'd understand yet."

"But I hate not telling him," he protested. "I don't like keeping secrets. They're part of myself."

"I know. In time, you'll be able to tell them.' was the only thing Zamir could give.

Kyran looked down at the bed sheets. He frowned slightly, unsure of what to say to that. It seemed useless to keep protesting. "I don't understand."

"When the time is right, you'll know to tell them," Zamir explained.

He nodded a little at that when a thought occurred to him. He was sure of one thing he wanted more time for. "Zamir?" he said softly.

"Yes, little one?" Zamir asked in return.

"Merrick said that if we didn't succeed...then Shane's visions would come true. I know Merrick is wise and he said he will help us and that we won't be alone…but...I'm still scared. I'm scared of the Dark." He knew he would not be able to bear it if they failed. "That's the only thing I can think of I want to take as much time as possible," he admitted.

"Little one...Kyran," Zamir shifted, raising himself with one arm as he touched the younger's cheek with a gentle hand, "That, is something that will seem to come the quickest, even when it takes years. But you must understand, you can't be afraid of the Dark. The Dark will use that fear. You want to be strong before the Dark, and keep trust in your Light."

He whimpered a little at the notion that it would seem to come swiftly. "I've always been afraid of it. That's why even now, I don't like to sleep with the light off," he said meeting his eyes. "I...I don't know how to be strong with it so Dark. But if I have a little reminder of Light, it makes it easier." He paused for a long moment. "The Dark on Saren frightened me. I never want to feel it again."

"It frightened you, because you do not yet grasp what is within," that hand trailed to his heart, "You cannot see, what I see, or you would never fear the dark."

"And what do you see?" Kyran asked.

"Light. Brilliant, perfect, Light, as I have not seen in all my years, though I have seen my blessing of such souls similar to you."

Kyran's brow furrowed. "You mean like Qui-Gon is?" he asked. His bondmate was the Lightest person he knew.

"Brighter," Zamir stated, half smiling, "You need only to look inwards."

"But I don't know how," he protested.

A fond smile, "Want me to help you to see a glimpse?"

He nodded hopefully. "I want to see too. I don't like being afraid."

The fond look on Zamir's face deepened, "Then just close your eyes, and I'll guide you inwards."

Kyran did as he was told, closing his eyes and reaching for Zamir with the Force.

Zamir lightly redirected his search/Not to me, there's nothing to feel in me, look to yourself, as if you were looking through me./

Kyran tried to do as he was told, trying to refocus on his innermost self. He drew upon the Force as he did so, and as he did, he felt something shift inside himself. It was as if a cap had been taken off a holocam port. He almost forgot to breathe as he looked at it, entranced by what he saw. Their souls braided together into one. Shane's darker gray was on one side; Qui-Gon was in the middle between them, shone brightly reflecting off the other two. And the third was himself. He stared at it for a long time. The pure white radiance that shone was so surprising. So awe-inspiring. He could hardly believe something so pure and white was coming from him. /Is that really me/ He asked in a hushed whisper.

Amusement, gentle as the vampire seemed to be/Yes. That is you. /

/But how...I'm brighter than both my bondmates.../ He didn't quite understand. /Why isn't Qui-Gon brighter?/

/You each represent a part of the Force's heart, or so Merrick has told me. The child, is the balance between. /

/It's so bright...and I can feel the power coming from it/ he could grasp the bond and feel the strength. It was so incredibly strong.

/Careful. You'll wake them/ it was almost a tease.

He gently let go and he pulled back to his normal conscious self. His eyes fluttered open. He didn't say a word, still awed by what he had seen.

After a little while he said/That's what you see when you see me?/

A very slight nod, "Except I see it in a different way, being as I'm not like you."

/If I could always see that, I wouldn't be scared of the Dark. But I didn't even know it was there. /

/Now you do,/ Zamir pointed out/So can you truly be afraid now?/

/I...I don't know. If there was a way to burn the image in my mind...to where I could always have the memory of what it looks like...then maybe I wouldn't be...but.../ he bit his lip figuring his answer probably was disappointing.

/You don't need that. You can see it without my aid, in truth, with time and practice,/ Zamir stated.

He trembled slightly. /I can/

/Try,/ was the offer.

/I don't know the way.../ he tried to retrace his steps in his mind.

/All you have to do is go inwards, rather then outwards./ Zamir directed.

He did as Zamir told him and there he was back to see the Light again. He memorized the image. The three cords burning brightly like a star in his soul. He took it all into his heart, burning it there.

Zamir waited for him, smiling slightly.

"I have it in my heart now," he breathed as he returned. Maybe…just maybe he could survive in the darkness after all.

"Good. That shall help," Zamir assured.

He nodded at that. Feeling brave and peaceful from the image in his heart, he reached up and touched his bedside lamp, turning it completely off, plunging the room into Darkness, for the first time in his life.

* * *

Qui-Gon was sitting over in a corner, helping Sian build a tower out of the blocks. He wasn't talking much, some part of his mind still on the fact that his bondmates had been chosen the day before. He had a block in his hands, but he was just holding it in his hands.

Sian happened to notice that Qui-Gon wasn't paying attention. "Coruscant to Jinn," he said loudly.

Qui-Gon jerked a little. "Hrm?"

"Are you going to put the block on the top or just sit there and stare at it?"

Qui-Gon blushed a little. "Sorry."

Trey didn't even look up from the book he was 'reading', "Be nice, Sian."

Sian blinked innocently. "I am being nice."

Qui-Gon shrugged. "Just a little tired I guess."

Sian frowned at that. He took the block from Qui-Gon's hands. "All right, what's the matter?"

"Just feels different without Kyran or Shane coming back to the crèche. I still feel like they ought to be here today since they were gone the last two days."

Glancing up, Trey gave an understanding look, "They'll come to visit soon."

"But what if they get a mission today and are gone for months and months?" Qui-Gon knew it was bound to happen sooner or later...he only hoped it was later. He didn't really want to think of them being gone for so long.

"I don't think it'll happen that soon," Trey stated, "New Padawans have to have time to get used to their Masters, and likewise."

"They do?" he asked, glancing hopefully at Trey. "How do you know?"

A raise of a black/blue eyebrow, "I heard the Masters talking."

"Oh, well that makes sense then. I was just worried," he said feeling relieved that his bondmates were going to just leave him for months because they were chosen.

"Relax. They're not going to run off and leave you," Sian put his arm around him, in a rare gesture of friendship. "Not ever. And neither are we."

A nod, a very slight smile from Trey, "Right, I fear you are stuck with Sian, though I'll gladly keep you company the rest of your days."

Qui-Gon felt warm all over at being loved and cared for. "Well I'm right happy to be stuck with you two then." He slapped his other arm around Trey. "Totally stuck."

Sian let go. "Yes, very stuck, now let's stop hugging before we get teased for being like girls."

Qui-Gon wrinkled his nose at the idea of being teased for being like a girl. He let go of both of them. "Right."

A shake of the head, Trey returned to his book, "We're nothing like girls. Anyone with eyes can see that."

"Yeah but only girls do weird things like hugging," Sian shrugged a little. "So let's do what boys do and build something," he said handing Qui-Gon his block back.

Another shake of the head, but Trey didn't comment.

"How high do you think we can build this thing?" Qui-Gon wondered aloud.

"Probably to the top of the crèche. Let's try it!" Sian said, with a gleam in his eyes.

"Okay," Qui-Gon said brightly, putting a block on the top of their small stack. He felt comforted by their words and by the safe cocoon of friends he had. The future could wait until later. Focusing on the now was more important. For now, he was going to enjoy building blocks with his friends.


End file.
